Team Bike Part 2.

2012 Cannondale CAAD 10 
'BBQ' matte black paint.
SRAM Force Group
SRM
Rev 50s
3T Bars/ Stem
16 lbs of Bananas.


Thanks to Cadence, & Cannondale for getting me (and Lauren) back on the road. 

Year In Pictures

I saw this idea here and had to do it. I take a lot of pictures with my phone and thought it would be interesting to let them tell the story of my 2011.

12/28/10... so technically not 2011, but it snowed in VA for xmass. I had only my road bike... oops.

1/30/11 When will snow ever stop!?

2/6/11. The longest 4 hour ride ever. 17 flats. I chose the route. Everyone hates me.  I did not flat, FYI.

3/7/11. 2 yrs of marriage with Lauren. Her gift: I ripped up the kitchen floor.

3/24/11. No job and lots of crappy weather meant many hours staring at my fan. 

4/11/11 Team Issued Bike. CAAD 10.

4/23/11 Some Lancaster road race. Newport and I have certainly been more clean.

5/15/11 101.4 miles. The most I have ever done in one shot believe it or not. 6 days later I would do 138.

5/20/11. PURPLE. The first of many

5/30/11 Spotted a Geo Metro Ferrari, son. Stop Hatin'

6/05/11 Dead pigs on Lemon Hill

6/5/11 Mark Flis tags Steve Ordons.

7/9/11 Iron Hill Twilight Crit. 

8/5/11 Tour of the Catskills... this was in my closet.

8/17/11 The joys of employment

8/20/11 The last time I would see my wife on a bike for several months. 

8/29/11 Ways to pass the time with broken bones.

9/3/11 Visiting the accident site. We landed behind where the car is parked. 

9/7/11 I got screwed.

9/11/11 Going Home.

11/13/11. Sun setting on Crossasaurus CX. 

11/22/11 VA 2 months later. Still 'MERICA.

11/26/11. She finally caved. My mother inlaw  KILLING DEER DEAD.

Bilenky Junkyard CX

Screw Louisville. The 2013 Worlds should be held in the junkyard on N 2nd St. No, before you cast my statement aside as outlandish, imagine for a second how much fun those poor interval crushing, watt measuring, salad eating, espresso sipping, faux hawk rockin, euros would have riding around a junkyard. Yes, I realize I do some of those things I just described, but that's the point. Stay with me...

Often times we as cyclists find ourselves "burning out". At my level of the sport I feel its really really hard to actually over train. Life simply limits your volume enough that you'll be ok. It is entirely possible to mentally burn out however. Doing interval set after set on the same roads or worse inside grows more and more taxing on the mind as the season progresses. 

Riding around in a junkyard fixes the problems outlined above. I ride bikes for fun. No matter how PRO I try to pretend I am, or how seriously I take a Cat 3 crit where I have the chance to win $45, I do this for fun. Thanks Mom and Dad for blessing me with 75% of the genetic gift needed to do this for a living...

Back to the junkyard. There were blown out cars, there we mattresses, there was a panel van you had to run through, There were loud noises and lots of people banging on things. As insane as that all sounds and how far away from a "bike race" as it sounds, it shared many of the elements that make great events. Huge crowds, loud cheers, excitement from the course, beer,  good competition. Somebody threw leaves at me as I ran through a Craig Lebair deep leaf pile. Every single second of the ten laps I spent trying not to get tetanus was amazing. This, is why I race bikes.

Game Notes: 

- I wore a scarf and my skinsuit per Geronimo's request.

- Somebody gave me a beer at the start. 

- I navigated obstacles such as panel van dismount, leaf pile, 6 mattresses you had to ride over, lots of hipsters. 

- I chased Harlan Price most of the race, he rode over a car like 6 times, making me look as far from Rad as possible. 

- I briefly took 2nd place when Harlan circled back to re ride over the car he had failed to ride over.

I finished 3rd in the "A" Race, I did not die, get tetanus, super AIDS, or high off the second hand "smoke". I did get air, and smile a lot. That's really the point

Photo: Pat Engleman

PA State CX Championships at The Phelps School

I have not been training for cross. I have not really even been "training" with structure yet. Ask me the last time I did a sub max interval and I would say before the Tour of The Catskills. The rides I did in Virginia had a peak 60 minute and a peak 2 minute that were within 40 watts of another. Zone 2 is your friend.  All that aside I think I pulled a pretty decent race out of my 'hind near parts' Sunday. 

20 of us set out on maybe the course I hated more than any other course ever warming up. That's probably not the courses fault as it is me forgetting what the hell I was doing. I got a terrible terrible start. Like nearly tail-gunning. I went into the red a lot the first lap to try and move up a bit, and found myself hanging on for dear life behind the Bicycle Therapy train of death and destruction. I got dropped, I caught back up, I got dropped, I clawed back up... I made a sweet pass over the jump and slid throw a turn, but then almost blew up.

I was finding some fun on the course. There were some pretty well thought out turns and some tricky off cambers. There was even a run up where I got to practice my weird bike holding skills.

About mid way I found myself co-piloting the group with Mr. Mike Green. We worked pretty well together, then a funny thing happened: We started catching people. Marten Beels was the last to be reeled in. I felt great with 2 to go so I started putting in the moves there. As gassed as I was everything felt in place. 

Cyclingcaptured.com

I ended up 8th. I was pretty happy with that. Teammate Geronimo went on to win the day, taking the State championship. Old rival Gerry was 2nd, which is a great ride for him as he captured the series from my Teammate Erik Mitchell. 

Crossasurus Awesome

Once a year the Crossasurus comes out to do his business. He dines upon the finest gels and nutritional supplements topping off his glycogen stores. He hydrates (with water not PBR) He wears compression socks. He takes naps. He races hard. 
But the downfall of the Crossasaurus, is that hes really a raging alcoholic with a bike racing problem. 
To all of you who came out to race, drink, cheer, heckle, or simply gawk at the on goings. I personally thank you for making my day really really awesome. 
As you know there was that little thing that happened to me in August. I have not raced a bike (nor been allowed to fall off a bike) since then. Friday I finally reached the point where my doctor of legs and arms and stuff was confident enough with how my humerus was healing to allow me to race. Instant excitement spike with horror. I lost a great deal of fitness after the injury, however the nice thing about cross is that its fun even at 3/4 throttle.
I did learn it hurts the same though. 
Game notes:
I crashed riding to the pit to drop off my wheels... on asphalt. 
I rode the sand pit like a boss. Most of the time... as seen here
I went EXTREME... as seen here
I remembered how to run although I still look funny doing it. as seen here.
and I lost a mustache competition even though my wife was 1/3 of the judges panel. 

Photo: M. Kremer

Most importantly I spent the day with some really good people. Thanks again to all that partook. 

Wasting A Scammer's Time.

I am selling a Cervelo. I posted the at on a cycling classified site and got a few hits.
I was contacted by a phony looking email askign about the frame. After a few weird emails he instant messaged me on the gchat. I messed with him for the better part of an hour. Here you go. Punch lines in red and blue. Cliff notes at the bottom: Enjoy!

Scoth: Hi

 me:  how are you?

 Sent at 10:05 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  im fine and you ?

 me:  well, thanks

were you able to get your paypal sorted out?

 Scoth:  okay

get me the paypal email address now so i can pay you

 me:  its this email address

 Scoth:  okay i will pay you now

 me:  great

 Sent at 10:10 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  i will mail you when am throiugh with the payment

Thanks Mike

 me:  Please include where you would like the item shipped to.

 Scoth:  okay mike

 me:  hey what build kit are you going to put on it?

out of curiosity?

 Sent at 10:12 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  how much do you want me to pay

?

 me:  You had mentioned before you were willing to pay $1450. I would be willing to offer it shipped at that price.

with what build kit are you going to use?

 Scoth:  okay

so all what i will pay you now is 1 ,750

 me:  how did you arrive at that number?

 Scoth:  which number ?

 me:  1750

 Scoth:  yes

1,450 is fro your bike

and the rest is for the shipping company

 me:  ahh i see, i just got your email

 Scoth:  Okay good

try to read it now

 me:  yep, just did

i am a little confused

can you explain it to me/

 Scoth:  what is that m,ike

okay

 me:  the email

 Sent at 10:22 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  i will pay you 1750 now and the rest of money is 300 you will send 250 to the address that i will give you and 50 dollar is for the western union fee because you will need to help me to send the 250 dollar via western union

Understand

 me:  yeah thats sounds good.

let me know what you have sent the 1750 then.

 Scoth:  okay mike

 me:  hey i asked before but what parts do you think you will put on the item?

 Sent at 10:24 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  U mean?

dont bother

 Sent at 10:26 AM on Thursday

 me:  you said you have always wanted one of these

what do you think you will do with it

 Scoth:  ah ah dont bother again

I know what to do with it thats why am buying it

 me:  its very important that I know its going to a good place

 Scoth:  okay good of you

 me:  what type of rider are you

 Sent at 10:29 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Rider...lol

 me:  why so funny?

i am confused

 Scoth:  Am a rider and i know what this thing is used for and i will pay you your money...ok?

 me:  yes yes, that sounds great

oh you know, i forgot to mention I can include the reel that goes with it if you would like.

you can catch fish with it

 Scoth:  Really?

I will really like that

 me:  yeah its amazing that this thing can catch fish too

 Scoth:  Ok thank u so much...am so happy to do business with you and i hope we can do more in the nearest future

 me:  so when will you be sending the paypal

 Sent at 10:39 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Now hold on

 me:  i have been waiting for several minutes now

 Scoth:  Hold on now...pls

 Sent at 10:42 AM on Thursday

 me:  can i ask you a question?

 Sent at 10:48 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Yea

 Sent at 10:50 AM on Thursday

 me:  have you seen "two girls one cup"

 Scoth:  what do u mean?

 me:  have you seen it

use google

 Scoth:  No

I need to focus on your payments ok?

 me:  it takes mere seconds to send a paypal email

 Sent at 10:52 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Yea

 me:  so do it

 Scoth:  Ok

 me:  can i ask a questions

 Sent at 10:55 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Go ahead

 me:  do you like turkey?

 Scoth:  No

 me:  what?

 Scoth:  I dont like it

 me:  do you like chicken

 Sent at 10:59 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Did you receive mail from paypal?

 me:  oh yes i just got it!

but do you like chicken/

 Scoth:  Just follow the instruction they gives

 me:  can i ask you a question?

 Sent at 11:03 AM on Thursday

 Scoth:  Yea

 me:  do you think I am fucking retarded?

nice spoofed email asshole.

i have known you were a scammer the entire time, but did this to waste your time

Cliffs:

Scammer tires to buy Cervelo via typical western union themed scam. I receive a series of spoofed email saying he "payed for the item" 

I ask him if he would like me to send the fishing reel that comes with my Cervelo... He says yes. 

I ask him if he's seen two girls one cup. For gods sake don't google that. 

Still here...

While Lauren and I continue to recover, please go register for the chance to lap me in an elite race.

Crossasaurus Awesome

That's right, if all goes as planned, I will be riding with a number on my back, going slowly, cursing my lack  top end and clicky shoulder. 

Rumor has it the podium girl will be wearing a TLSO brace? 

Lauren and Mike Go Boom.

Many of you know already what happened to Lauren and I, but we were involved in a car/bike accident last Sunday.

We came down to Virginia to visit with Lauren's family before cyclocross took over our weekends until Thanksgiving. 

On Sunday morning Lauren and I headed out with no defined route in mind, we just had the simple goal of having a nice relaxing ride before our 5 hour car trip home. We had done field tests the day before and were both tired. Lauren killed her test, I did well on mine... at least we will have baselines for our comebacks...

We were about 40 minutes into the ride when we stopped for a minute to check the smart phone and pick a direction home. We were to hop on RT 46 for a minute before turning off to get on another fun road home.
We never made it off RT 46. Lauren and I were riding single file pretty close to the gutter of the road. Lauren thought she saw my brake rubbing. I peaked back to check and thought it did look funny. I decided to start to pull over to check. 
I started to communicate to Laur that we should stop to check. We were still lined up single file. Mid sentence I heard a crash, a pop, and Lauren yell. A split second later my rear wheel got washed out from under me. I closed my eyes and started to fall left. On the way by I felt the car brush past me as my hip hit the asphalt. I remember tucking up and sliding on my arm and hip. Gravel was flying everywhere. I remember squinting as it hit my face. 
The next thing I knew I was standing, with no idea where my bike was. It wasn't until then I had realized we had been actually hit by a car. I turned to see Lauren laying on the grass under her bike. Her arm was wrapped up in the broken frame. I peaked down the road to see the driver stopping, but some distance away. After making sure Lauren was not going to try and move, and getting the bike out from cutting into her arm, I ran down to the car. The driver had stepped out. I instructed him to call the police and snapped a picture of the plate before running back to Lauren.

Between then and now, hundreds of folks have directly helped us or sent prayers and messages our way.
In no order, 
Both cars that stopped to help us, the couple, and Randy the EMT. The Ambulance staff, The Helicopter crew, The VCU ER team, both mine and Lauren's. The entire staff at VCU. Dr Zuezler, Dr Johnathan, All of Laur's nurses. Lauren's Family. Everyone that sent us and email, facebook, or phone message, we are extremely grateful. 
It doesn't look like either of us will be racing bike any time soon. Lauren has broken vertebrae and ribs, and I have a broken humerus/displaced shoulder that will be operated on next week. 

Tour of the Catskills

Keeping with the through a bunch of stuff at the wall and see what sticks mentality, I made the switch from racing 2 crits a weekend, to climbing mountains during 60 mile road races.

TT: 

The time trial is still not my best event. The only cool part was I got to use my skin suit. God I missed it. My goal was "somewhere in the middle" and that's just what I did. I knew I had a really strong guy starting 30 seconds behind me. He obviously caught me, but I used him as a carrot and never let him get out of sight after the pass. Did the 20k in 28:20 something and ended up 47th out of 80, which is just past "somewhere in the middle" the good news was I was only like 1:15 out of the top 15 and 3 min off the lead.

Who was winning: nobody really just an ex collegiate runner... who also happened to be an ex collegiate runner with a 4:00.37 mile PR and a 14 minute 5k PR. Fresh off a win at the Mt Washington Hill Climb.

Stage 2: Assault on Devils Kitchen RR

I woke up feeling pretty good. I'm glad I was feeling good as we actually raced the first 90 minutes. I was convinced the distance, climbing, and stage race factor would have us stuck in a comfy pace, until mile 55 where the climb gigantic series of walls was. Not so much. A break went off at mile 1. It came back and then another move went.

Feed 1: I took a bottle from Lauren at speed. The funny part which I am afraid I missed is when Greg took a nut shot from a ejected bottle tossed from the field. If you hit Camia in the nuts with a bottle. Fine work.

Moves continued until the base of the first KOM. The break had like 1:10 on us and was clear. We pinned it up the climb, and reeled it back in. I was just sitting in waiting, making sure I was on the right side of any splits. I would say half of the field got dropped right here. On the descent we did 40 mph for 5 minutes! I did not cry, at least I don’t think.

On the run up to Devils Kitchen, it’s a flat headwind-y road. Another move went clear, and we used this road to bring it back. This meant sitting in but still having to ride tempo single file until the base of the climb. It hurt. The attacks went right at the first steep pitch. I started in like 35th, but by the top of the climb, so many people had blown up, I was in the front of the 1st chase group of 11th through 25th. It was chaos climbing the hill... total mess, people stopping, people trying to serpentine. The climb was a serious of endless stair steps at over 15% each. 

I pace-lined into town with my group and finished in the middle of my bunch for 17th. Climbing to 22nd on GC from 47th. 
Later at home I found my poor teammate Gorka, who suffered horribly from cramps late in the race. I went in to full drug dealer mode and busted out the endurolytes. 

Stage 3: Twin PeaksRR

65 people got dropped on the first climb. It was insane. I settled into the group containing 15th through 2Xth. I was in danger of being gapped out of it. I hung on for dear life on this exposed, 4.5 mile climb basically just holding on to the string. I made it over and tried not to cry on the decent as we hit 52+ mph.

I was feeling good, its just the pace was so damn fast. The power meter showed I had to basically ride a 20 min field test to stay with the group on that climb. I didn’t know this at the time, as every time I looked down at my SRM, the head unit was covered in my drool and sweat. Probably for the better.

Right after that were some horrible rollers and the next KOM. We hit a wall on it, steeper than anything I have seen in a long time. Exposed, melt in the sun type steep. Keep in mind I was riding near the front (top 20) of the race when you read this: I watched, at 3 mph as riders around me stalled and were forced to walk up the climb. The top 20% of the race had dudes walking. Amazing how hard this was… I made it up alive, and even, caught some guys from the lead group and dropping some folks from my group. 

The next section is a bit blurry. Lots of rollers, relentless pace lining, another 53 mph downhill, and then the finish. I wanted to top 10 the stage, I didn't know what was left up the road, but I knew I had to beat this group. I also had a number of guys really close on GC. 

I launched at the base of the short climb to the lodge/ finish line, I stayed clear until maybe 150 meters when two riders came around me. They got a small gap on me, I heard Dave Fries say something about needed to be on their wheels to be same time, I surged so hard to keep contact and take same time and took 13th on the day. I moved me up a few spots to 17^th on GC.

The event was really well run and the courses were absolutely amazing. We saw some really beautiful scenery and views through the suffering. The people atop Devil's Kitchen were amazing too, it seemed like a lot of people but I have to admit my mind is doing a really good job of being a bike racer and forgetting how hard it was.

This is how I ended my race, with this face. I think its a good reminder of how hard the race was. 

Game Notes:

I fed Gorka on Stage 2 with one of the sweet Ciclismo branded muesette bags he made. His own bag almost killed him at it hit his bars during the feed.

Lauren and Camia climbed Devils Kitchen in the rain. I would have been scared.

Liberty Criterium

Our Race. We promote this one I am proud to say. Held at the NASCAR wide and technically lacking super speedway that is Great Valley. We had amazing support form our sponsors this year. Cadence came through huge, offering bike fits, LT Tests, and Merch. Best of all they had Olympic medalist, Brian Walton follow around the women's 4 race and offer advice post race. Captain Lawrence offered bottles of DIPA and Saison up for grabs. KImberton Whole Foods came through. We had bottles of wine as premes. White Dog Cafe and the Moshulu offered gift cards. Honey Stinger send bars, gels, and chews. I'm sure I am forgetting somebody. Oh Gorka. Gorka got the bagels. Finally. We had Joe Jefferson on theme mic all day, making fun of me as much as he could. 


The 3/4 Race went ok. 60 something starters! Long story short... We went fast... I got in a break with Newport, Wes, Manny, Calvin, Brian and somebody else I am forgetting. These are fast dudes. The move got a good gap, but it wasn't meant to be on this break un-friendly course, we came back after 4 laps. 

Setting up for the sprint we messed up a little. A number of us got stuck a bit unable to move out of the pack. Our sprinters got swarmed and trapped. Eric got in the next move and I thought he had it locked. He fell just a little short and couldn't finish it off. So close and a huge effort on his part.
 By the time I could break out there was only 600 or so yard to go. I launched to the outside and went for broke. I knew I would be caught, but I figured it could free things up a bit for my guys. 
As I sprinted towards the line, I felt the rush go by, trying to stay as straight as possible. 9 people came around, one of them Newport. 

Newport, myself, Wes and Lavelle finished 8th, 10th, 11th, and 12th respectively. My other teammates working well where and when they were needed. 

After the race a number of us, who may or may not have already started drinking, decided to double up and do the P/1/2/3, After much peer pressure from my teammates. It was a front row seat to a pretty decent race. I saw at a break (with Geronimo, Shane from Bissell, and some other fast guys) hopped up the road. The max advantage grew to about 50 seconds when QCW chased for a bit but burned off most of their guys in the process. The break was down to 10 to 15 seconds and well withing sight with 3 to go. 3 guys bridged up to the break and Shane from Bissell ended up taking the win. 

Game Notes:
Everyone Like Arthur Gorka's Facebook Page Just do it. Don't ask why. 
Greg Camia survived yet another Cat 5 race. Then he survived his best attempt at alcohol induced dehydration. 
Pedalyte (purple) trumps all other fluids.
Joe Jefferson publicly proclaimed Lauren "The Heart Rate Testa" Festa was the better athlete in my marriage. He was right. I have no rebuttal. (Lauren took 10th in a tough P/1/2/3 race.)
Jamie Harris knows how to run a race.
Darrin took 4th (AGAIN) in the cat 4 race.
We had one bad accident in the 4 race but the rider is ok. (He came back after the hospital trip to look for his shoes!)


Thank you to all that came out and supported the race, I hope you had a great time.