Bananas

Team Bike Part 2.

2012-02-02T08:05:00.000-05:00

2012 Cannondale CAAD 10
'BBQ' matte black paint.
SRAM Force Group
SRM
Rev 50s
3T Bars/ Stem
16 lbs of Bananas.

Thanks to Cadence, & Cannondale for getting me (and Lauren) back on the road.

Year In Pictures

2012-01-02T19:23:00.000-05:00

I saw this idea here and had to do it. I take a lot of pictures with my phone and thought it would be interesting to let them tell the story of my 2011.

12/28/10... so technically not 2011, but it snowed in VA for xmass. I had only my road bike... oops.

1/30/11 When will snow ever stop!?

2/6/11. The longest 4 hour ride ever. 17 flats. I chose the route. Everyone hates me. I did not flat, FYI.

3/7/11. 2 yrs of marriage with Lauren. Her gift: I ripped up the kitchen floor.

3/24/11. No job and lots of crappy weather meant many hours staring at my fan.

4/11/11 Team Issued Bike. CAAD 10.

4/23/11 Some Lancaster road race. Newport and I have certainly been more clean.

5/15/11 101.4 miles. The most I have ever done in one shot believe it or not. 6 days later I would do 138.

5/20/11. PURPLE. The first of many

5/30/11 Spotted a Geo Metro Ferrari, son. Stop Hatin'

6/05/11 Dead pigs on Lemon Hill

6/5/11 Mark Flis tags Steve Ordons.

7/9/11 Iron Hill Twilight Crit.

8/5/11 Tour of the Catskills... this was in my closet.

8/17/11 The joys of employment

8/20/11 The last time I would see my wife on a bike for several months.

8/29/11 Ways to pass the time with broken bones.

9/3/11 Visiting the accident site. We landed behind where the car is parked.

9/7/11 I got screwed.

9/11/11 Going Home.

11/13/11. Sun setting on Crossasaurus CX.

11/22/11 VA 2 months later. Still 'MERICA.

11/26/11. She finally caved. My mother inlaw KILLING DEER DEAD.

Bilenky Junkyard CX

2011-12-20T19:40:00.001-05:00

Screw Louisville. The 2013 Worlds should be held in the junkyard on N 2nd St. No, before you cast my statement aside as outlandish, imagine for a second how much fun those poor interval crushing, watt measuring, salad eating, espresso sipping, faux hawk rockin, euros would have riding around a junkyard. Yes, I realize I do some of those things I just described, but that's the point. Stay with me...

Often times we as cyclists find ourselves "burning out". At my level of the sport I feel its really really hard to actually over train. Life simply limits your volume enough that you'll be ok. It is entirely possible to mentally burn out however. Doing interval set after set on the same roads or worse inside grows more and more taxing on the mind as the season progresses.

Riding around in a junkyard fixes the problems outlined above. I ride bikes for fun. No matter how PRO I try to pretend I am, or how seriously I take a Cat 3 crit where I have the chance to win $45, I do this for fun. Thanks Mom and Dad for blessing me with 75% of the genetic gift needed to do this for a living...

Back to the junkyard. There were blown out cars, there we mattresses, there was a panel van you had to run through, There were loud noises and lots of people banging on things. As insane as that all sounds and how far away from a "bike race" as it sounds, it shared many of the elements that make great events. Huge crowds, loud cheers, excitement from the course, beer, good competition. Somebody threw leaves at me as I ran through a Craig Lebair deep leaf pile. Every single second of the ten laps I spent trying not to get tetanus was amazing. This, is why I race bikes.

Game Notes:

- I wore a scarf and my skinsuit per Geronimo's request.

- Somebody gave me a beer at the start.

- I navigated obstacles such as panel van dismount, leaf pile, 6 mattresses you had to ride over, lots of hipsters.

- I chased Harlan Price most of the race, he rode over a car like 6 times, making me look as far from Rad as possible.

- I briefly took 2nd place when Harlan circled back to re ride over the car he had failed to ride over.

I finished 3rd in the "A" Race, I did not die, get tetanus, super AIDS, or high off the second hand "smoke". I did get air, and smile a lot. That's really the point

Photo: Pat Engleman

PA State CX Championships at The Phelps School

2011-12-06T21:27:00.000-05:00

I have not been training for cross. I have not really even been "training" with structure yet. Ask me the last time I did a sub max interval and I would say before the Tour of The Catskills. The rides I did in Virginia had a peak 60 minute and a peak 2 minute that were within 40 watts of another. Zone 2 is your friend. All that aside I think I pulled a pretty decent race out of my 'hind near parts' Sunday.

20 of us set out on maybe the course I hated more than any other course ever warming up. That's probably not the courses fault as it is me forgetting what the hell I was doing. I got a terrible terrible start. Like nearly tail-gunning. I went into the red a lot the first lap to try and move up a bit, and found myself hanging on for dear life behind the Bicycle Therapy train of death and destruction. I got dropped, I caught back up, I got dropped, I clawed back up... I made a sweet pass over the jump and slid throw a turn, but then almost blew up.

I was finding some fun on the course. There were some pretty well thought out turns and some tricky off cambers. There was even a run up where I got to practice my weird bike holding skills.

About mid way I found myself co-piloting the group with Mr. Mike Green. We worked pretty well together, then a funny thing happened: We started catching people. Marten Beels was the last to be reeled in. I felt great with 2 to go so I started putting in the moves there. As gassed as I was everything felt in place.

Cyclingcaptured.com

I ended up 8th. I was pretty happy with that. Teammate Geronimo went on to win the day, taking the State championship. Old rival Gerry was 2nd, which is a great ride for him as he captured the series from my Teammate Erik Mitchell.

Crossasurus Awesome

2011-11-14T19:45:00.002-05:00

Once a year the Crossasurus comes out to do his business. He dines upon the finest gels and nutritional supplements topping off his glycogen stores. He hydrates (with water not PBR) He wears compression socks. He takes naps. He races hard.
But the downfall of the Crossasaurus, is that hes really a raging alcoholic with a bike racing problem.
To all of you who came out to race, drink, cheer, heckle, or simply gawk at the on goings. I personally thank you for making my day really really awesome.
As you know there was that little thing that happened to me in August. I have not raced a bike (nor been allowed to fall off a bike) since then. Friday I finally reached the point where my doctor of legs and arms and stuff was confident enough with how my humerus was healing to allow me to race. Instant excitement spike with horror. I lost a great deal of fitness after the injury, however the nice thing about cross is that its fun even at 3/4 throttle.
I did learn it hurts the same though.
Game notes:
I crashed riding to the pit to drop off my wheels... on asphalt.
I rode the sand pit like a boss. Most of the time... as seen here
I went EXTREME... as seen here
I remembered how to run although I still look funny doing it. as seen here.
and I lost a mustache competition even though my wife was 1/3 of the judges panel.

Photo: M. Kremer

Most importantly I spent the day with some really good people. Thanks again to all that partook.

Wasting A Scammer's Time.

2011-10-26T15:53:00.000-04:00

I am selling a Cervelo. I posted the at on a cycling classified site and got a few hits.
I was contacted by a phony looking email askign about the frame. After a few weird emails he instant messaged me on the gchat. I messed with him for the better part of an hour. Here you go. Punch lines in red and blue. Cliff notes at the bottom: Enjoy!

Scoth: Hi

me: how are you?

Sent at 10:05 AM on Thursday

Scoth: im fine and you ?

me: well, thanks

were you able to get your paypal sorted out?

Scoth: okay

get me the paypal email address now so i can pay you

me: its this email address

Scoth: okay i will pay you now

me: great

Sent at 10:10 AM on Thursday

Scoth: i will mail you when am throiugh with the payment

Thanks Mike

me: Please include where you would like the item shipped to.

Scoth: okay mike

me: hey what build kit are you going to put on it?

out of curiosity?

Sent at 10:12 AM on Thursday

Scoth: how much do you want me to pay

me: You had mentioned before you were willing to pay $1450. I would be willing to offer it shipped at that price.

with what build kit are you going to use?

Scoth: okay

so all what i will pay you now is 1 ,750

me: how did you arrive at that number?

Scoth: which number ?

me: 1750

Scoth: yes

1,450 is fro your bike

and the rest is for the shipping company

me: ahh i see, i just got your email

Scoth: Okay good

try to read it now

me: yep, just did

i am a little confused

can you explain it to me/

Scoth: what is that m,ike

okay

me: the email

Sent at 10:22 AM on Thursday

Scoth: i will pay you 1750 now and the rest of money is 300 you will send 250 to the address that i will give you and 50 dollar is for the western union fee because you will need to help me to send the 250 dollar via western union

Understand

me: yeah thats sounds good.

let me know what you have sent the 1750 then.

Scoth: okay mike

me: hey i asked before but what parts do you think you will put on the item?

Sent at 10:24 AM on Thursday

Scoth: U mean?

dont bother

Sent at 10:26 AM on Thursday

me: you said you have always wanted one of these

what do you think you will do with it

Scoth: ah ah dont bother again

I know what to do with it thats why am buying it

me: its very important that I know its going to a good place

Scoth: okay good of you

me: what type of rider are you

Sent at 10:29 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Rider...lol

me: why so funny?

i am confused

Scoth: Am a rider and i know what this thing is used for and i will pay you your money...ok?

me: yes yes, that sounds great

oh you know, i forgot to mention I can include the reel that goes with it if you would like.

you can catch fish with it

Scoth: Really?

I will really like that

me: yeah its amazing that this thing can catch fish too

Scoth: Ok thank u so much...am so happy to do business with you and i hope we can do more in the nearest future

me: so when will you be sending the paypal

Sent at 10:39 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Now hold on

me: i have been waiting for several minutes now

Scoth: Hold on now...pls

Sent at 10:42 AM on Thursday

me: can i ask you a question?

Sent at 10:48 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Yea

Sent at 10:50 AM on Thursday

me: have you seen "two girls one cup"

Scoth: what do u mean?

me: have you seen it

use google

Scoth: No

I need to focus on your payments ok?

me: it takes mere seconds to send a paypal email

Sent at 10:52 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Yea

me: so do it

Scoth: Ok

me: can i ask a questions

Sent at 10:55 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Go ahead

me: do you like turkey?

Scoth: No

me: what?

Scoth: I dont like it

me: do you like chicken

Sent at 10:59 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Did you receive mail from paypal?

me: oh yes i just got it!

but do you like chicken/

Scoth: Just follow the instruction they gives

me: can i ask you a question?

Sent at 11:03 AM on Thursday

Scoth: Yea

me: do you think I am fucking retarded?

nice spoofed email asshole.

i have known you were a scammer the entire time, but did this to waste your time

Cliffs:

Scammer tires to buy Cervelo via typical western union themed scam. I receive a series of spoofed email saying he "payed for the item"

I ask him if he would like me to send the fishing reel that comes with my Cervelo... He says yes.

I ask him if he's seen two girls one cup. For gods sake don't google that.

Still here...

2011-10-18T09:10:00.000-04:00

While Lauren and I continue to recover, please go register for the chance to lap me in an elite race.

Crossasaurus Awesome

That's right, if all goes as planned, I will be riding with a number on my back, going slowly, cursing my lack top end and clicky shoulder.

Rumor has it the podium girl will be wearing a TLSO brace?

Lauren and Mike Go Boom.

2011-08-29T12:24:00.003-04:00

Many of you know already what happened to Lauren and I, but we were involved in a car/bike accident last Sunday.

We came down to Virginia to visit with Lauren's family before cyclocross took over our weekends until Thanksgiving.

On Sunday morning Lauren and I headed out with no defined route in mind, we just had the simple goal of having a nice relaxing ride before our 5 hour car trip home. We had done field tests the day before and were both tired. Lauren killed her test, I did well on mine... at least we will have baselines for our comebacks...

We were about 40 minutes into the ride when we stopped for a minute to check the smart phone and pick a direction home. We were to hop on RT 46 for a minute before turning off to get on another fun road home.
We never made it off RT 46. Lauren and I were riding single file pretty close to the gutter of the road. Lauren thought she saw my brake rubbing. I peaked back to check and thought it did look funny. I decided to start to pull over to check.
I started to communicate to Laur that we should stop to check. We were still lined up single file. Mid sentence I heard a crash, a pop, and Lauren yell. A split second later my rear wheel got washed out from under me. I closed my eyes and started to fall left. On the way by I felt the car brush past me as my hip hit the asphalt. I remember tucking up and sliding on my arm and hip. Gravel was flying everywhere. I remember squinting as it hit my face.
The next thing I knew I was standing, with no idea where my bike was. It wasn't until then I had realized we had been actually hit by a car. I turned to see Lauren laying on the grass under her bike. Her arm was wrapped up in the broken frame. I peaked down the road to see the driver stopping, but some distance away. After making sure Lauren was not going to try and move, and getting the bike out from cutting into her arm, I ran down to the car. The driver had stepped out. I instructed him to call the police and snapped a picture of the plate before running back to Lauren.

Between then and now, hundreds of folks have directly helped us or sent prayers and messages our way.
In no order,
Both cars that stopped to help us, the couple, and Randy the EMT. The Ambulance staff, The Helicopter crew, The VCU ER team, both mine and Lauren's. The entire staff at VCU. Dr Zuezler, Dr Johnathan, All of Laur's nurses. Lauren's Family. Everyone that sent us and email, facebook, or phone message, we are extremely grateful.
It doesn't look like either of us will be racing bike any time soon. Lauren has broken vertebrae and ribs, and I have a broken humerus/displaced shoulder that will be operated on next week.

Tour of the Catskills

2011-08-09T20:14:00.001-04:00

Keeping with the through a bunch of stuff at the wall and see what sticks mentality, I made the switch from racing 2 crits a weekend, to climbing mountains during 60 mile road races.

TT:

The time trial is still not my best event. The only cool part was I got to use my skin suit. God I missed it. My goal was "somewhere in the middle" and that's just what I did. I knew I had a really strong guy starting 30 seconds behind me. He obviously caught me, but I used him as a carrot and never let him get out of sight after the pass. Did the 20k in 28:20 something and ended up 47th out of 80, which is just past "somewhere in the middle" the good news was I was only like 1:15 out of the top 15 and 3 min off the lead.

Who was winning: nobody really just an ex collegiate runner... who also happened to be an ex collegiate runner with a 4:00.37 mile PR and a 14 minute 5k PR. Fresh off a win at the Mt Washington Hill Climb.

Stage 2: Assault on Devils Kitchen RR

I woke up feeling pretty good. I'm glad I was feeling good as we actually raced the first 90 minutes. I was convinced the distance, climbing, and stage race factor would have us stuck in a comfy pace, until mile 55 where the ~~climb~~ gigantic series of walls was. Not so much. A break went off at mile 1. It came back and then another move went.

Feed 1: I took a bottle from Lauren at speed. The funny part which I am afraid I missed is when Greg took a nut shot from a ejected bottle tossed from the field. If you hit Camia in the nuts with a bottle. Fine work.

Moves continued until the base of the first KOM. The break had like 1:10 on us and was clear. We pinned it up the climb, and reeled it back in. I was just sitting in waiting, making sure I was on the right side of any splits. I would say half of the field got dropped right here. On the descent we did 40 mph for 5 minutes! I did not cry, at least I don’t think.

On the run up to Devils Kitchen, it’s a flat headwind-y road. Another move went clear, and we used this road to bring it back. This meant sitting in but still having to ride tempo single file until the base of the climb. It hurt. The attacks went right at the first steep pitch. I started in like 35th, but by the top of the climb, so many people had blown up, I was in the front of the 1st chase group of 11th through 25th. It was chaos climbing the hill... total mess, people stopping, people trying to serpentine. The climb was a serious of endless stair steps at over 15% each.

I pace-lined into town with my group and finished in the middle of my bunch for 17th. Climbing to 22nd on GC from 47th.
Later at home I found my poor teammate Gorka, who suffered horribly from cramps late in the race. I went in to full drug dealer mode and busted out the endurolytes.

Stage 3: Twin PeaksRR

65 people got dropped on the first climb. It was insane. I settled into the group containing 15th through 2Xth. I was in danger of being gapped out of it. I hung on for dear life on this exposed, 4.5 mile climb basically just holding on to the string. I made it over and tried not to cry on the decent as we hit 52+ mph.

I was feeling good, its just the pace was so damn fast. The power meter showed I had to basically ride a 20 min field test to stay with the group on that climb. I didn’t know this at the time, as every time I looked down at my SRM, the head unit was covered in my drool and sweat. Probably for the better.

Right after that were some horrible rollers and the next KOM. We hit a wall on it, steeper than anything I have seen in a long time. Exposed, melt in the sun type steep. Keep in mind I was riding near the front (top 20) of the race when you read this: I watched, at 3 mph as riders around me stalled and were forced to walk up the climb. The top 20% of the race had dudes walking. Amazing how hard this was… I made it up alive, and even, caught some guys from the lead group and dropping some folks from my group.

The next section is a bit blurry. Lots of rollers, relentless pace lining, another 53 mph downhill, and then the finish. I wanted to top 10 the stage, I didn't know what was left up the road, but I knew I had to beat this group. I also had a number of guys really close on GC.

I launched at the base of the short climb to the lodge/ finish line, I stayed clear until maybe 150 meters when two riders came around me. They got a small gap on me, I heard Dave Fries say something about needed to be on their wheels to be same time, I surged so hard to keep contact and take same time and took 13th on the day. I moved me up a few spots to 17^th on GC.

The event was really well run and the courses were absolutely amazing. We saw some really beautiful scenery and views through the suffering. The people atop Devil's Kitchen were amazing too, it seemed like a lot of people but I have to admit my mind is doing a really good job of being a bike racer and forgetting how hard it was.

This is how I ended my race, with this face. I think its a good reminder of how hard the race was.

Game Notes:

I fed Gorka on Stage 2 with one of the sweet Ciclismo branded muesette bags he made. His own bag almost killed him at it hit his bars during the feed.

Lauren and Camia climbed Devils Kitchen in the rain. I would have been scared.

Liberty Criterium

2011-07-25T21:01:00.002-04:00

Our Race. We promote this one I am proud to say. Held at the NASCAR wide and technically lacking super speedway that is Great Valley. We had amazing support form our sponsors this year. Cadence came through huge, offering bike fits, LT Tests, and Merch. Best of all they had Olympic medalist, Brian Walton follow around the women's 4 race and offer advice post race. Captain Lawrence offered bottles of DIPA and Saison up for grabs. KImberton Whole Foods came through. We had bottles of wine as premes. White Dog Cafe and the Moshulu offered gift cards. Honey Stinger send bars, gels, and chews. I'm sure I am forgetting somebody. Oh Gorka. Gorka got the bagels. Finally. We had Joe Jefferson on theme mic all day, making fun of me as much as he could.

The 3/4 Race went ok. 60 something starters! Long story short... We went fast... I got in a break with Newport, Wes, Manny, Calvin, Brian and somebody else I am forgetting. These are fast dudes. The move got a good gap, but it wasn't meant to be on this break un-friendly course, we came back after 4 laps.

Setting up for the sprint we messed up a little. A number of us got stuck a bit unable to move out of the pack. Our sprinters got swarmed and trapped. Eric got in the next move and I thought he had it locked. He fell just a little short and couldn't finish it off. So close and a huge effort on his part.
By the time I could break out there was only 600 or so yard to go. I launched to the outside and went for broke. I knew I would be caught, but I figured it could free things up a bit for my guys.
As I sprinted towards the line, I felt the rush go by, trying to stay as straight as possible. 9 people came around, one of them Newport.

Newport, myself, Wes and Lavelle finished 8th, 10th, 11th, and 12th respectively. My other teammates working well where and when they were needed.

After the race a number of us, who may or may not have already started drinking, decided to double up and do the P/1/2/3, After much peer pressure from my teammates. It was a front row seat to a pretty decent race. I saw at a break (with Geronimo, Shane from Bissell, and some other fast guys) hopped up the road. The max advantage grew to about 50 seconds when QCW chased for a bit but burned off most of their guys in the process. The break was down to 10 to 15 seconds and well withing sight with 3 to go. 3 guys bridged up to the break and Shane from Bissell ended up taking the win.

Game Notes:
Everyone Like Arthur Gorka's Facebook Page Just do it. Don't ask why.
Greg Camia survived yet another Cat 5 race. Then he survived his best attempt at alcohol induced dehydration.
Pedalyte (purple) trumps all other fluids.
Joe Jefferson publicly proclaimed Lauren "The Heart Rate Testa" Festa was the better athlete in my marriage. He was right. I have no rebuttal. (Lauren took 10th in a tough P/1/2/3 race.)
Jamie Harris knows how to run a race.
Darrin took 4th (AGAIN) in the cat 4 race.
We had one bad accident in the 4 race but the rider is ok. (He came back after the hospital trip to look for his shoes!)

Thank you to all that came out and supported the race, I hope you had a great time.

The Arsenal Criterium

2011-07-19T06:38:00.001-04:00

Today we had Newport, Mitchell, Lavelle, Beers, and myself line up for an 8 corner crit at the naval yard. 8 corners is a lot of corners.

We talked before the race and developed the plan. There were some decent riders There were 30 something riders but a few stong guys from DC and the Shirks team were the most notable opposition.

We knew at some point there would be a split and our goal first and foremost was to be in it with at least one guy. That was Plan A.

Photo Doug DiBella

I started covering the moves first. The first few minutes of the race were very hard. I count 22 times over 800w in the first 12 min. That means I was sprinting a lot for the non weenies. We took turns covering moves and it looked promising as Wes jumped into a 5 man move with 2 Shirks.

Photo Doug DiBella

Manny must have gotten lonely because he tried to bridge up as soon as he knew the move was safe. I grabbed his wheel and he pulled me into the group. As I arrived Wes' ticket had been punched and he sadly couldn't stay on. I was now with 3 Shirks, the DC guy and a Yellow guy who’s name I have already forgotten. Damn dehydration.

Photo Doug DiBella

We worked pretty well together and gained a max of 50 seconds advantage. Shirks had Manny doing zero work in the break.. Bike Doc attacked with 10 or so left and 1 Shirks guy covered. I was 4th wheel. I felt I could not cover the move, one for fear of blowing up as I was kind of gassed, secondly even if I had been physically able to cover, I think one of the 2 Shirks on my wheel would have countered it and I still would have been SOL. Tactically SCREWED.

The 2 remaining Shirks immediately stopped working, leaving me and yellow guy to pull. I asked politely for them to contribute and one of them started working occasionally. They didn't need to work with their guy up the road and could just attack us if the field was getting too close...

Photo Doug DiBella

With 5 to go we were down to 23 seconds advantage. Dan was allowing two QCW (our hosts for the day) riders to pull him closer and closer to my group. It took them a while to figure out why Dan wasn't doing any work, but I’m sure Dan appreciated their efforts.

With 2 to go Manny from Shirks attacked. I couldn't hang on to the wheel. Calvin jumped a second later and I nearly got a hold of him, but they simply overpowered me. We did drop the yellow dude in the process. I spent the last lap by myself riding as hard as I could in hopes one of the Shirks would implode. It didn't happen, but I took 5th.

Dan rolled in 9th from his move, and Wes took the field sprint for the last money spot for 10th. Newport got pushed into a curb by somebody or else he would have been there with Wes (his leadout). But still managed 12^th.

I am happy with the way we raced today. We looked good and 3 guys went home with checks. I am a little frustrated with fate in the break. The entire time I had "how am I going to win out of this move" looping through my head, and every solution was met with "nope you're effed-a-potomus". Such is life, I am still happy overall.

Photo Bob Wellmon

Some game notes worth mentioning. There were THREE Cadence Foundation races. That's a lot of kids on bikes. Really awesome.

Iron Hill Twilight Crit

2011-07-11T16:10:00.003-04:00

As a race, Iron Hill would be classified as scary. I would rate it as a full blown 10 on the clustercuss scale. This year, I decided to race. We all know my relationship with crits, but I had more important things to worry about, like helping my teammates (we had three with a chance) do well.

We lined up 25 minutes early for the start. Even then we were in the 3^rd row. Start position in this race is crucial. Lining up in the back effectively ends your race before the gun even goes off.
While standing there waiting to start, Krapf bus company, home of the lovely school bus driver that tried to kill my wife and I one day… decided the best way to advertise would be to bring a coach bus through the start finish area. Everyone had to squish to one side. When we unsquished I had magically lost 15 spots. Repeat this process for the pace car, and now I am at best, in 50^th.

Luckily 2 of my teammates, Dan and Chris, made the front row.

The first lap was ok. I made some good passes and moved up to the top 30. Then 90 seconds into the race, on turn one on lap 2, my race basically ended. Huge crash on the outside.. The top 15 make it through, maybe 7 guys around me make it through after much sliding, and the back half of the field crashes on the inside. I have a teammate with me and pace him back up to the lead group over the course of the next lap. Right as we rejoin the leaders in turn 3, there’s another huge pile up. This time I have to unclip and stop. Standing there in the middle of the road, watching the race fly away from me while hoping I don’t get plowed into was not where I had seen myself.

If you look close, you can see me standing in the back.

I escaped, again, and chased. It was just me now. I had a 15 second gap to the leaders and a 15 second gap over the chasers.

8 people made the lead group. Dan and Chris were there. I wanted nothing more to join the group and help them. I chased by myself for 5 laps, stuck in no man’s land between the two groups. Somewhere in the chase I almost died, again. I rounded turn one and there was a dude and his bike (crashed out of the lead group) still laying in the road. I unclipped and leaned way hard to avoid him and made it through.

While chasing they let 7 more people who crashed out of my bunch rejoin into the lead group. Not really all that cool.

I looked back and the chase had made up some ground. I sat up and went back, hoping the chase group would get me closer to the leaders for a bridge, where I could finally be with my teammates. At this point there were maybe 30 people of the 92 starters left in the race. We were barely ½ way through!

It seemed as though the 10 guys in my group had no interest in chasing after a while. I was the one primarily at the front. A few guys tried to attack out of the group, but I was able to shut down the efforts. Despite my best attempts to organize, I ended up just leading us around as not to be lapped... In the end most of my group came around me after turn 4 in the sprint.

I crossed the line happy I wasn’t bleeding, but very disappointed. I wanted to repay my friends for the work they have done for me recently and I felt as though I had let them and myself down. Dan Lavelle rolled towards me with two fingers in the air. I learned Newport had grabbed 2^nd! Dan was able to lead him out and took 13^th. I went from frustrated to ecstatic in about .5 seconds. In the end, my team and I got our wish anyways. We made the podium, and Chris got a result he had been so close to for the entire season.

Lauren's shot of Chris, as she screamed and jumped in the air.

More Rapha

2011-07-11T06:41:00.000-04:00

Rapha put out the media for the Rapha Gentleman's Race we did a few weeks back.

2011 Rapha NE Gentlemen's race from RAPHA on Vimeo.

There are also two flickr sets. one from Chris Milliman, and one from the disposable camera each time had with us on the ride. Chris captured my choice of post ride footwear and presence of sock tan.

Photo Chris Milliman

Coatesville Classic Ominimimiouminonom.

2011-07-05T21:26:00.002-04:00

I can't say the word Ominum. Its true, I just can't. I am starting to like them though.

Simple two stage downtown 6 corner crit, followed by a 11 mile lap 57 mile road race the next morning. For the crit a total of 4 of us made the start. It was about 90 and nice and humid. Delightful
The crit was pretty fast, my job was to cover the moves for Chris. I covered as much as I could early, but I was feeling pretty weak and didn't have much in the tank that day. Manny Caliz went clear and I was in the front. It was my turn to cover. I waiting just a bit too long it proved to bridge. I launched, went clear but didn't have the strength to make it all the way across. I was joined, briefly, by another bridge but I couldn't go with him either, I was blown. It sucked.

I knew exactly what had happened and what was going to happen... I came back and rejoined the group. I took a few laps to collect myself before resuming my work at the front with Dan. There was no chasing down the break, the gap went from 20 seconds to 40 to 50. Setting up for the last lap Newport was well positioned. It slowed down coming through the start finish and turn one, and I figured Chris was about to be swamped. One Human Zoom rider had attacked but there was hesitation. I launched from way back and took the front, and put the race back at single file. The move kept Chris in position for the sprint. I blew up something terrible, literally drooling on my stem, when my job was done and sat up sometime before turn 3. Dan got caught up in the crash before turn 5, that took more than a few guys down. I deployed the Tokyo Drift move to navigate around it all. Chris was able to take 9th overall and earned some GC points. I took 20th and took the last GC point available.

The next morning we had a 5 lap 57 mile course with mile long shallow climb. The course was amazing, very scenic and very fast. Since Chris was so high in GC we all had his interests in mind. The finish of the race (uphill) suited me, so I also got the nod.

We spread the work around early on. There weren't an overwhelming amount of attacks but we had a man on everything. Everyone took their turn covering, but Geoff was all over the majority of the early moves, allowing Newport and myself to be more selective in what we covered. I was feeling lousy at this point and was having trouble even covering attacks. Without the guys there to do the work I would have been toast.

Matt went out on his own for a bit. There was one decent attempt to bridge to him, but it was shut down pretty quickly. Geoff was there to follow the wheels of the chasers. Matt eventually came back so Dan and Jamie took over for a bit, getting mixed up in a few moves an attempts, again allowing Newport and I chose when we needed to place out efforts.

One small incident of drama: I managed to destroy my beloved Rev 50x. I moon crater of a hole and couldn't unweight the rear wheel enough to avoid the square edge. The tire stayed inflated but the rip developed a 1 cm sized crack after whacking the edge of the hole at 30mph. The guys at Rev are already taking care of it... good company.

Entering the last lap I slotted in behind Chris to take a feed from Lauren as I was completely out of water. I missed the bottle handup, but Chris had a little bit left, so he gave me his bottle. Lauren meanwhile was in the feed zone wondering if she needed to be dialing the divorce lawyer.

Going into the last lap we had a 2 man break up the road at 30 seconds.After the covered bridge it slowed a bit, all of the players were moving up and getting ready for the last climb. I was in danger of losing my position near the front as the swamp was seeming likely. Right then Joey attacks hard. He got clear and there was not an immediate reaction. Shirks had 3 men at the front, waited a few seconds for their 4th. I sat right behind them and all I heard was "He's here, CHASE!" Newport was right behind me. We both latched onto the Shirks train and the group went single file. Joey made them work and it took a little while for them to bring him back. Joey's move kept Chris and I up front and was in my mind, perfect. The move speed up the group and brought the 2 men off the front way back. We hit the base of the climb and I well to be honest, still felt like shit. I lined up 10th wheel and just tried to hang on and not get split off.
About half way up it slowed and I felt myself getting swamped. I launched as a number of riders pulled even and moved up to maybe 7th. At the top of the hill we made a sharp left, where the inside was banked, I hit the inside line hard and made a few passes while riders went wide to take the shallow line. I started to sprint now with 200 m to go. I caught the last member of the break and now only had 3 wheels in front of me. I caught one more before the line and ended 3rd. Half way up the climb, I though I was blown, I was pretty surprised I found it in me to get up there. The race was a fine example of selfless teamwork yielding a result. I finished up 6th on GC and collected some much needed upgrade points from the road race, getting me dangerously close to Cat 2.

Speaking of upgrades. Somebody's not going to be allowed to race cat 4 anymore if she keeps riding in the big ring up climbs,

Thanks to the City of Coatesville, who really came out to support the race. It was a blast flying around the crit course with Joe Jefferson on the Mic, with the crowd in the background.

Brownstown and Emrick Blvd

2011-06-27T18:29:00.000-04:00

Newport and I headed to Amish Land for the "Buttersworth Super Championship Series of the 42 dollar Entry Fee World Championship Road Race." And or Brownstown Road Race.

Photo Julie Elliot

It was really just a 35 mile, 7 lap race across some light rolling terrain with a slight uphill finish with 51 Starters. There was some wind. (PRO tangent. Newport and I successfully formed and echelon within the bunch. So PRO)

We looked for breaks, but the wind and relative slow pace of the first few laps kept everything together. On lap 4 of 7 I started a move that stayed out for a whopping 7 minutes with one other rider. Every other move lasted about as long as I can tolerate a Lady Gaga song, which is not very long.

Photo Julie Elliot

After that move Newport and I stopped trying to attack, the pace was way too slow for anything to really stick, we decided to just be mindful and remain lingering around the front. We took turns covering little attacks and set up for the field sprint.

We both had great position going into the final 1k. I attacked from 8th or 9th wheel at the base of the hill. I moved up to about 3rd and slotted in to two other Thru It All guys who were leading. The sprint started and one of the Thru It All guys chain broke while he was in front of me. He stayed up, I bunny hopped his chain, and kept kicking. I was even with the RTR rider for second place but he surged one last time and pulled away a bit. The sprint ended up being over 40 seconds long, which is, well rather ridiculous.. Newport stayed with it and ended up 12th.

Photo Julie Elliot

You can read my wife’s account of the race over here: Pallas Athene. She once again did better than I did.

The next day we headed to the flat and wide open office park spectacle that is Emrick Blvd.

I liked it as crit courses go. 2 wide open 90 degree tuns, 2 sweepers and one small rise. This was a 2/3 race, so we got to race with our cat 2 extraordinaire, Craig "They're After Me Lucky Charms" Lebair. Again, Newport was there to round out our showing.

My job was to cover things. I covered as much as humanly possible. I say this because I was feeling very "human" After working a bit too hard a keep everything covered. My teammates, including Craig "I suck wheels" Lebair took turns trying to be on the right side of the splits. Finally, Newport makes the lead selection. I stayed with Craig and hoped Chris could stick the move. A few laps later I saw the last thing I wanted to see, a rider in a black kit with a bright orange Captain Lawrence logo on his back coming back to the group. Chris, as well as a few others got popped out of the move. Craig followed the next split and got in chase group 1. I missed it and was stuck in the 3rd group. It looked as though Chase 1 was getting very close to the leaders. Gerry "I drink all of your beer" Adasavage jumped out of the group and I figured that was my ticket up to Craig "Frodo" Lebair.

Over the next 4 laps Gerry "Ice Cream" Adasavage and I took turns pulling, almost quitting, and then finally, catching the chase group, where Craig "I through gang signs at officials" Lebair was.

I took a minute to sort out my life and then went back to work. The race was pretty much over, all of the money and all of the points were up the road. Craig took the opportunity to bet that we (Ciclismo) could beat Bicycle Therapy (Gerry and Mike) in the sprint. Craig pretty much stopped the race to make the negotiation and set the terms of "loser buys beer at wegmans". Craig, without any help my my sorry ass, took the sprint and earned himself exactly 1 Victory Prima Pils.

I haven't been very geeky in a while. so here is the section of the power file from the bridge.

Guy's Neshaminy MASS and the BLP 2209 Crit

2011-06-21T07:24:00.001-04:00

Mountain Bike Racing! Despite the injury and the DNF at TSE, I felt it was time to give an proper cross country race a go. This race is one of my favorites, not only for the course that suits me very well, but for the fact that Ciclismo forgets about office park crits and Lancaster road races for a day and comes to ride bikes in the woods.
The Sport Class wave fared with mixed results. We had Matt Harris win his race, and on the other end of the spectrum we had his brother Jamie basically break his hand and DNF. The rest were somewhere in the middle.
Since Gorka wasn't there to pick on, I had to resort to pick on Greg "Mechanical" Camia. Greg crashed late in the race (riding my wife's bike) and burped his front tire. He went to hit it with the CO2 cartridge but tried to thread the air chuck on the wrong way. He resorted to running out of the woods and dropped from the top 5 to 7th. Commmmmon Man.
In the Elite race, I wore the Team TSE pb Notubes.com kit, and my road teammate Chris "Bieber" Newport lined up with me.

I got a good start, coming into the woods in 7th. I held position until the prolouge loop. and then followed Ron Harding and one of the twins. I did manage to put a nice gash in my leg from the gate on the way out though. Lap 1 was fast and painless. Which leads us to lap two... On lap two I choked down a gel and literally started choking (not to self, swallow, then breath) and had to drink on the descent instead of hold the wheels in front of me. While trying to bridge back up, the twin's drivetrain imploded. I chased Ron but he eventually got away as I started to suffer a bit.

pbase.com/dens

I remember having that moment you get in every race where you say to yourself "Ok, what the hell are we doing here?" I refocused and kept riding hard but fun.
I made it out one more time, now headed into the last lap. With 2 or 3 miles left, Topher, the bearded Gentleman he is, was trying to beat me. I know Topher is a better mountain bike rider than me pretty much everywhere, so I knew I would have to resort to my magic roadie powers to beat him. What wasn't fair was Toph could beat me by just riding fast and smooth, where I had to try and rip my own legs off to maintain the gap. I drilled the last 2 climbs and maintained the gap and held on for 9th. More importantly I was the only one not to crash. boom. bonus points. (-1 point for bleeding on myself though)
Chris, who had been riding well, suffered some cramps and finished one spot out of the money. 21st...

The Next day after refueling with BBQ, fish and chips and a little beer, I headed out to do a criterium in NJ. Geoff, Newport and I lined up in a small cat 3 race of 30 or so. My legs were heavy and slow to respond warming up, yesterday had dinged us all up pretty bad.
The gun went off and 4 riders attacked from the gun, lead by Bicycle Therapy. I got in my pedals quickly and initially made the move. It hurt. Badly. I had nothing in the legs yet and needed to be gradually pushed into the days race, not dropped from an airplane tied to an anchor, tied to a hippo. I had to let the gap go as I could not hold on to the move. Sucked. 2 laps later my legs were back and I felt better but it was too late.
In hindsight it would have been easier just to stay in the move, as my job for the rest of the day, had I missed my chance at a break, was bridge to the break, and or work for Newport and set up his sprint. Setting up Newport Involved a number of failed bridge attempts, chasing with a number of others failed bridge attempts, and stringing the field out with 2 to go so Chris could maintain his position. It worked, Chris was able to break his 1 out of the money curse and claim 10th. Although frustrating to be smart enough to know the move you were in spawned the win, it was equally cool to work for a teammate and help him take a shot.
I found some great shots from the mtb race here. I can't paste them in the blog as they are watermarked like whoa... but here are the links...

Camia Zombie face: Link

Newport scared face: link

Matt I'm serious even though my bike is purple face: link

Geoff Zombie face: note me in the background heckling. link

Craig suffering: link

Me bleeding on myself. link

The Tour of The Mountains of The Mount Nebo

2011-06-13T19:59:00.000-04:00

Mt Nebo is a hard race. That kind of goes without saying if you know the course. If you have not raced there, well I can best describe the course as “not flat”. If you know me at all you know I like “not flat”. The 3/4 race had 5 laps of the “not flat” 9 mile course, with roughly 4 “not flat” sections a lap.

photo Julie Elliot

Lap 1 was a little quick, and I killed a bottle in 20 minutes. The heat was on and it was very humid. As I passed Lauren in the feed all I said was, “More water, more food” knowing I hadn’t brought enough”

Everything was going swimmingly until late in lap 2. I sensed a competitor I had marked (read he’s typically better than me) suffering on a short climb. I put forth some effort in hopes of dropping some folks, but all that really happened was I developed a 50 ft gap on the field. I sat up for a second and peaked back. No reaction, from anyone. “DON’T YOU !@#$%s KNOW I HAVE A BLOG AND AM IMPORTANT???” Maybe I was insulted, maybe I was frustrated, maybe I was just willing to try it, but I decided to go at it on my own… with 30 miles left.

photo Julie Elliot

About 15 minutes into the effort my gap was growing. At one point I got out of sight of the peloton. I approached the feed zone where I took a bottle from Lauren. I think I said “pray this works”. I honestly thought I could stay out. I was riding at or above threshold and I felt fine. The group didn’t appear to be working too hard to come get me.

That would be short lived. Mike Egan made a bridge and joined me. I was pretty excited to get some help but it looked like the field was now reacting. About 5 minutes later we were reeled back in and I waited for the counter attacks… thinking about how not to get dropped. No attacks came… we actually slowed up a bit. This was ok as it allowed me to hang on and recover from the effort.

I kept making the splits on the climbs and just focused on conserving as much as I could. Newport was till with me until Lap 4 when he announced his imminent departure and asked if I needed anything.

We hit the last 1.5 k and I was trying to figure out what to do. My plan at this point was go with the moves until I couldn’t go anymore. That turned out to be exactly 1 move. Calvin Hoops jumped from the gutter and launched. I was the last of 7 to make his split, the second move went and I couldn’t respond. 5 or 6 guys came by me. I sat there climbing the last hill dying 100 deaths, thinking, well maybe if I can attack this group I can still steal a point or two from this race. I stood up to attack and literally nothing came out. Game over. I sat back down and climbed up the hill at “uncomfortable” pace. And then I wheelied across the line.

Mentionable:

Gorka decked it in the 4 race, but then rode 4 hrs with me the next day Pro Bandages and all.

Shane top 10’d the cat 4 race.
Lauren… BLEW UP both her race and herself. She made the selection and only had one cat 4 to take out in her race, but she went a wee bit too early on the finish climb and her opponent grabbed the win.

In a period of 15 seconds I seamlessly dabbed at 10 mph on a climb to avoid overlapping a wheel and bunny hopped a water bottle that was a heat seeking missile lock on my rear wheel. Not sure if the guy behind me was thrilled with my momentary trials show.

Rapha Gentleman's Race Redux

2011-06-08T07:52:00.000-04:00

With my back still trying to figure out what it's doing with its life (its taken on a mind of its own)... here are some of Matt Harris/Jason Cole's shots from the day.

All the shots are here

Banned Words

2011-06-06T15:40:00.003-04:00

My list of banned words.

Cycling has its own vocabulary, as does corporate America. As these are the two Circles I choose to frequent, I have developed a distain for many a buzz word or overused moniker. Here are my favorites. This is a living document, feel free to add as you see fit.

The Banished List:

Hammerfest: Leading the list by a large margin is hammerfest. I loathe this word. Every Cat 6, Type A, retard, who thinks they are the shit uses it to describe their BRUTAL 90 minute weekday group ride where every Fred in the tri county area armed with a pie plate and set of aero bars shows up and tries to drop one another. Hammerfest is the opposite of PRO. PRO is not riding off the front of some group randomly on a downhill tailwind while blowing through stop signs to gain a gap on the group is not impressive. Sufferfest also included in this grouping.

Miler: Miles do not matter. Time matters. You go for 4 hour training rides, not 60 milers. “Yeah I did a super hard 25 miler this weekend on the bike path” 25 miles means nothing to me. Tell me the time. Additionally, understand why time matters and not miles.

Laterally Still & Vertically Compliant: Commonly used in bike mags to describe just about every bike they test. It’s a way of saying a bike is stiff when pedaling but comfortable. Its not that this property doesn’t exist, its just horribly overused to the point where it’s trite.

Artisanal: Used to describe bikes with soul. You bike does not have a soul. It’s made of some metal or fibers and glue. It’s made from things that are not living. My made in Taiwan Caad 10 is every bit as rewarding to ride as your custom Ti Dentist Bike made by hand by some portly welder who’s smoked more weed than Cheech and Chong..I love all bikes, I just don’t approve of personification of bikes. It’s a tool for a job, whether it be winning a race or having fun, its still just a tool to accomplish an objective. Save Artisanal for a loaf of bread.

On the Fence:

I am not sure how I feel about these next few.

Pain cave: Used to describe the dark place you go to when suffering on a bike. “Going deep in the pain cave on today’s intervals.” I don’t go to a cave when I ride, I go to a road or a trail somewhere. I go suffer there. When I am suffering there, I am still there, not hanging by a rope in some cave with a Headlamp on or holding a canary or something.

Epic: Yeah I know, I race for Team Trans-Slyvania Epic pb/notubes.com… 7 day mtb stage races over insane trail networks is epic. Don’t believe me? I dare you to look at this picture and argue otherwise. Doing an office park crit is not epic. Riding to the coffee shop on Saturday morning is also not epic. Use it the right way and please don’t ruin this word.

Add your own in the comments section!

The Trans-Slyvania Backiotomy

2011-06-02T08:54:00.000-04:00

We last left off with the Rapha Gents Race. A little insight into my mind on April 6th. When I had been notified by Ciclismo I made the squad.

Email to Coach informing him of the race and my role:

…This is a week before TSE, I realize a 7 hr ride a week before an A race is less than optimal, however this is why I send you cash every month, to help me figure this stuff out!
We are also going to do a "century" on May 15th to test the waters. I put all the dates in TP for you.
Later,

Kuhn’s response was priceless.

Hmmm. mmkay. We'll sort it.

He sorted it and the workouts showed up in TrainingPeaks. The plan was set. Do the ride. Recover. Open up, Race.

And then my back imploded at mile 40 of RGR, pretty much screwing the plan to bits. I spent the week taking muscle relaxers and not doing a very efficient job at anything. I was sleeping like 15 hours a day.

The Friday before TSE I sat on my couch debating what to do. My back was iffy, my legs felt like lead, and I was pretty scared. This is the race I thought about slogging out efforts on the trainer throughout the 83 snow storms we weathered over the winter. Not going would not do anything good for my mental state or motivation. Going could seriously eff up my body and jeopardize my other goals for the year. For the first time in a long while I just wanted to eat food, drink beer, and get fat instead of race bikes.

I decided to give it a go. I felt the regret of not starting the race would be far worse than that of a potential DNF. I promised myself to take it day by day and back it down if I felt like I was ripping my back in two.

Showing up Saturday I gave myself a chance to preride the 12 mile prologue. I took Lauren with me. She hadn’t touched her mtb in a while, and went on a pretty fast arch from freaking out, to riding smooth in about an hour. I was surprised what she was cleaning as the course was not easy. Go Lauren.

A.E Landes/ Zach Repp

My back felt ok, and my legs started to come back a little. Definitely not firing at 100% but I hoped to ride into them as the week went on. I got a massage. I felt ready. I was smiling for the first time in the better part of a week.

Stage 1: At 3:03 I went off on my way. I got the legs to open up. I finished somewhere between mediocre and crappy. I rode smooth and only fubbed a few things. I felt ready to actually race my bike. It was uneventful, I was happy with that. My back was so so, but hanging on.

After dinner with Lauren, I started to get a headache (not from Lauren!). Not a normal headache, but the broken brain headaches I got when I was 12. The process goes like this. Get headache. Lay down. Puke. Feel better.
At 8:30pm Dinner ejected from my body. No big deal I wouldn’t need to be fueled up for Stage 2, which in my opinion takes the title of hardest stage in the race. I remained relatively dehydrated from all of the sleeping and puking. Killing the Pedialite helped a little, but was not the silver bullet.

Stage 2: 43 miles 5300 ft of climbing. Rocks everywhere. 90 degrees.
We went out fast. I made it down the first descent, and was climbing the first dirt road climb. The legs felt almost back. At CP1 I saw Lauren and took on some water. I was currently in the first chase group and comfy. We continued climbing for a bit before we hit the trails. I went into the first singletrack behind Ben Cruz and Mike Wissel. I hit a rock and by back went ‘uh dude” Then I had to twist to keep balance in the mud, and the back yelped again “Mike, WTF” I fought for about 10 minutes and then had to back it off. Ben and Mike were GONE. I was floundering and unable to really lift my back wheel over stuff. The thoughts of quitting slipped in.

Finally at speed I went to hop a rock I had noticed late. I pulled up and went to unweight the rear of the bike. Nothing happened and the back slammed into the rock. I stayed up but it made me realize I was done.

I had roughly 15 miles to the next checkpoint. The way it works at TSE is that if you do not finish a stage you don’t’ technically finish the race, but you are allowed to ride the next day. I figured I would make the decision at CP 2.

8 miles out I ran into Wissel messing with a broken bike. His derailleur ripped off and he was in the process of creating a ghetto single speed. I lent him my chain tool and told him I would ride with him. We had to stop a few times as his gear slipped and he would have to stop and fix it. We realized it was slipping off the cogs because his frame was actually broken. The derailleur must have sliced through the seat stay on the swing arm when it ripped off. He started walking as I pressed on.

Now on my least favorite trail in the race, the narrow rocky climb that lasts seemingly forever until CP2. I was riding at 1/3 gas just riding fast enough to make it through the rocks without falling over. I knew I was done and was just trying not to hurt myself anymore. My back hurt and my motivation was long gone.

My mood was not what I expected. I usually become angry at myself when I fail. I don’t like to give up, and I hate to quit on such an amazing race. I had time to reflect on a lot on the climb. I was reminded that no matter how fucked my current situation was, I was still doing what I wanted to do; racing a ridiculously nice bike, on amazing terrain in beautiful weather, in good company. Racing doesn’t always go your way, and the body often tells you when you’re done well before your mind does. I am still currently oscillating between pissed, motivated, crushed, accepting, and proud.

Proud? I bailed out right? Yes, I quit but with visions of accomplishing everything else I set out to do this year. Failing at TSE will translate into wanting to accomplish something else. I feel I was disciplined enough to save that opportunity for myself. In my case defeat motivates, I feel that’s a good place to be. I woke up this morning to the feelings I was experiencing in April. That ‘Christmas Morning’ feeling where you are beyond excited to do some stupid office park crit in 45 degree rain, just because you can. It’s back.

Rapha Gentleman's Race: East Coast 2011

2011-05-24T06:29:00.002-04:00

I once said Stage 2 of the 2010 Trans-Sylvania Epic was the most humbling thing I have ever done on a bike. After yesterday I can now say the Rapha Gentleman's race has eclipsed that.
Ironically taking place on the day of the rapture, RGR fielded 20 teams, and Philadelphia Ciclismo was lucky enough to be one of them. Armed with Cannondale CAAD 10's and new kits, Ciclismo sent The Harris Brothers, Newport, Lebair, Bruce, and myself to contest the race.

The course was published and it looked relatively scary. Only one of us had actually completed 134 miles or more before.

The Long Version of the Race Report...
Starting at the Trexlertown Velodrome, we set off at 8:56am we set off on our way. It took 10 minutes to get our first puncture. We were able to fix it pretty quickly and get back rolling. I am fairly certain every single dirt road withing 30 miles of the velodrome. The six of us had a pretty good first two hours. We were making good time over the "rollers" for the first 40 miles to Kuztown. The rollers were really more like walls. One part of the file says it was over 14% on dirt for 5 minutes. Needless to sat that stung a bit. Spinning the cranks at 37 rpm is a feeling I couldn't mind forgetting about for a bit.

Stopping in Kutztown we ran into C3's team as well as a few others. As we fueled up I made a mistake that would prove pretty painful. While drinking some water, it accidentally went down the wrong pipe. I started to cough and my lower back went into spasm. I didn't think much of it, it hurt, but wasn't limiting in any way.
We rolled the next 90 minutes to the top of Hawk Mountain. This was a true mountain as there was in fact a visitors center at the top. Only mountains have visitor centers... When I hopped off the bike for some more water, the back was a complete custer cuss. I couldn't even bend. This seemed odd to me as the climb up hawk wasn't that bad. Equally odd was that when getting back on the bike, the pain dissipated.

Onwards. With 3 more passes to go over the ridge, we kept even pacing and ticked out the miles. Descending off Hawk Mountain was a blast, watter running off a few of the switch backs was a bit tricky though.
Climbing back over the ridge for the second pass was completely blank. I cannot remember a thing about it. I can remember blowing by a turn though on a decent off the mountain. By the time we realized it we were almost a mile off course, along with 3 other teams. We climbed back up the ridge and found the turn. 15 minutes wasted and 425 ft of climbing.We figured it would happen at least once.

Trips up the mountain 3 and 4 were both dirt and very close to one another on the course. We basically climbed went back down and climbed back up. Climb 3 consisted of a slimy sticky mess. Our wheels slipped quite often on the soft clay surface. The real story about climb 3 however was the descent off of it. Straight up mountain biking. We suffered one puncture on the rocks and held up a bit. Fortunately this would be the last puncture on the day.

30 minutes to rapture and we had one big climb left: On the final climb we had the taste of overcoming a huge accomplishment on our palates. We as a team firmly believed that if we made it over the last climb, we would be set for a smooth 30 mile trip back to the velodrome
We summited Climb 4 with some of the other teams we had ran into. I stayed back and kept my eye on our guys and ate, and ate, and then ate some more. One dirt descent and 30 miles left. A moment of relief came upon us. We felt safe for a second.
On the second turn on the decent off the mountain, things went a little nuts. I was leading the group out and went into a left hander too hot. I broke, but the wheels slid on some loose gravel and I started going straight, headed off the road and down the embankment. I unclipped my low side foot and initiated a 2 wheel slide to the side. I was waiting until the last second to actually lay the bike down and hope not to go off the ledge. As I entered the ditch off the side of the road the bike suddenly caught and started to turn back up the road via a bed of rocks. I didn't flat, I didn't crash, and I don't think I soiled my chamios either.
Now that I hadn't died, I continued to lead the way off the mountain and start on the final stretch.

I am trying to forget the last 30 miles of the race. I expected a straight flat magic carpet of a road with 20mph tailwind, but instead we were through into a twisty web of dirt roads and flats. By this point we were all fried and navigation became a challenge. The Garmin's battery was dying, and we resorted to the cue sheets and smart phones.

At sometime around 6:40pm we entered the track. We rolled around in formation and finished what we started.

Afterwards, I could hardly move. My legs were not terrible, but my back was shattered. If this post seems like its lacking my typical brand of humor, well its because I am completely fried. My body has never been so deconstructed at any level.

The Funny Stuff:
Quotes of the day(s):
-Fat Marc at mile 40 while refueling at Turkey Hill "Smile for the picture, this blog isn't going to write itself, hurry up" Click.
-While asking Fat Marc if he was ok while his C3 teammates changed a flat "Of course I'm not ok, I just rode 101 fucking miles."
-Craig Lebair "I'm going to mess that team's shit up like a dung beetle"
-I think I will go ride the bike path for a month after this.
Topics of discussion included but not limited to:
Your mom.
Rocks.
Long vs short legged sheep.
Me bitching about everything,
Things being PRO vs Fred.
Yelling at road kill telling it to "HTFU"

Marvel at the power file here: Watts.

Oh Yeah, it turns out we finished 4th out for 20 teams. Only 9 teams actually were able to complete the ride.

Catching up. Turkey Hill and Smoketown, followed by some Rapha Gentleman's Race Preview

2011-05-16T21:06:00.000-04:00

Turkey Hill:
Didn't go so well. Race summary in a paragraph:

Race went off. Race wasn't very fast. Gamber Wall was really a 30 second sprint. Break of 2 gets away. Bridge attempts squashed by Shirks Racing Team. Attack 3 times a lap out of spite. Break crashes eachother out. Field Clueless. Another break gets away. Miss break because you have attacked 53323 times in the last 2 laps. QCW/Breakaway rider sprints... for the bell lap, everyone laughs. Attack in final k for spring. Die 1000 deaths. 38th. Ate generously supplied hot dogs and ice cream from Turkey Hill.
Lauren gets thirsty when she races bikes. She also gets 11 in the 3/4 race despite mid race asthma attacks.

Smoketown: More brief reports... This race is held on an airport this is a unique venue. Rain added to the um, uniqueness of the race. Not only have I never ridden a bike on an airport runway but I have never done it in the company of 60 other guys in the pouring rain.
Additionally I have never been so on the rivet for the first 15 minutes of a race. I though about quitting. A lot. my legs felt as though they had bricks in them. The break went away and I was left in the bunch. guys were getting dropped. With 8 to go the lights came back on and I suddenly had legs again. I moved up, and got ready to do, well anything. I moved up to help Jamie who had been killing it all race, but he was busy at the front killing it, reeling back a move in hopes Chris or I would be able to do something. Anything. With 3 to go, i saw a move develop and jumped on a wheel and got a ride up to it. We got clear and started the rotation. A lap went buy and we were still away. This had a shot. As we hit the bell lap things cam unhitched. The bunch was approaching fast and we were reeled in right before the last turn. Blown, I sat up and skated around the 180 turn one last time.

Lauren killed it. She raced the womens open and took 7th in a field sprint. She beat riders several levels above her. She hung on when it got strung out and knew how to position herself for the turns. Bananas.

Rapha: Philadelphia Ciclismo, armed with new kits... will be racing the Rapha Gentleman's Race this weekend. The invite only shindig is 134 miles of Lehigh Valley's best riding. 134 is really effing far, so to "practice" we did a 'gentle' 101 miles this weekend. I learned how to bonk again, twice actually. It was a good time. Despite some rain, some flats, some more flats. we all made it through. Most importantly I beat both Darrin Miskiewicz and Craig Lebair to the Phoenixville town line. WHAT. Darrin is pictured below with more cash than I have won all year from a single race.

Look for the Rapha ~~death march~~ Race Report next week.

Tour de Ephrata

2011-05-02T20:18:00.001-04:00

The last time I raced at Ephrata I was a Cat 5. It look me a few years to forget what a miserable time I had. Well I finally forgot and decided to go back to do some stage racing.

We started with a 53 mile road race.

I liked it this time. When I think back on it, this is what road means to me especially in the Philadelphia area. Fast racing (with the exception of the first two laps) on a fun, and twisty course. It was mostly flat, but very windy. Lots of sketch, lots of crazy moves up the gutter, lots of screaming at folks breaking the yellow line rule.
Going into the last lap the bunch was pretty much all together. There was a break of 6 or so that had been away for a lap. We were bringing them back but it would be close. Heading into the last climb I jumped. I didn't get separation, but it strung it out, and sent some of the sprinters to the caboose. Half way up the climb we caught the break.

Here is where things got a little nuts. We ran up on 3 riders from the masters race lead break. The ref had tried to get them to pull off so that our group of 60 could go by. Instead they jumped into our line.

About 500 curse words later, the sprint started, with the group of 60 (and masters guys) all together. We had a long straight false flat with heavy head cross wind to sprint into.

I had a wind facing line, but pushed myself into some shelter before I launched my sprint from maybe 12th. I moved up a bit as guys faded and grabbed 6th at the line.

6th place, I initially thought, what a bummer, not I can't bail and go race my mountain bike at Granogue.

TT. The TT was actually a lot of fun. Way more fun than a typical out and back. The course was well thought out and had something for everyone. Oh yeah and it has a huge climb. A huge climb with 15% grades tossed in for good measure. I went out and purchased a set of clip on aerobars at 7:30pm, and grabbed a set of Zipps from one of our awesome sponsors for the TT. My strategy was to get to the climb. I got to the climb, and then I crushed the climb. I felt great, in a horrible sort of way.

I finished 9th, missing 8th by .1 seconds. Mark Flis started 1 minute behind me and lucky for me, he didn't pass me, although he sure got close.

Crit. The result in the TT put me in 4th on GC, tied for 3rd. Admittedly I was freaking out a bit. The only thing that stood in my way was a super scary Mike Festa Disapproved 4 corner downtown crit. I got a call up in the crit. We'll see when that happens again. Joe Jefferson was on the mic, and it felt like cyclocross. We went fast from lap 1. We went 6 wide into corners, we bumped, clipped and slid around. People started crashing, I started loosing position. A break went up the road, and the Shirks team went to the front and strung the race out. Newport pulled me back up way too many times... and then we got to 2 laps to go. I was hanging on trying to stay up there.

And then everyone fell down. Big crashes in turn 2 and 3 took out half of the remaining field. I narrowly avoided both and finished 16th.

All of the GC threats with a few exceptions made it though, and my 16th pushed me back to 6th on GC. Some guys fell out of the top 10 with the crashes.

I happy with it, more importantly I had fun. The race was well run and the courses were a blast.

Farmersville.

2011-04-25T20:48:00.001-04:00

Farmersville. Farmers grow things. Farmers use manure to help things grow. Manure runs into the road when it rains. Farmers use horses. Horses poop in the road. You ride in the road. You see where this is going.

Race summary in a paragraph. Break gets small advantage. Pack rides slow. Bridge attempts instantly chased down by pack as to lock the would be escapee into the poop infested hell that was the peleton. Race not won by my team. Done.

Heres a good shot of some poop on my bike.

The good news was there was a Sonic very very close to the race venue. If you read this blog regularly, you know I enjoy the Sonic.

And followed it up with this:

And then this:

Lower Providence Criterium

2011-04-18T19:38:00.002-04:00

Lauren toed the line in the Women’s 4 race, where she had high hopes for a good finish to her first criterium of the season. There were 25 women registers for a short but rapid 15 lap race. Confident in her sprint Lauren lurked near and around the front of the race. No attacks really stuck, and entering the final lap, Lauren held her position despite others best efforts to bump her around.

Into the last corner, two riders launched their sprints. Lauren was able to find their wheels and overtake them as she began her sprint. At the line she implemented a fantastic bike throw (next level race winning maneuver) and took the victory by wheel.

It was close enough that the officials had to consult the finish video, but Lauren was confirmed the winner. Lauren has never won anything. Ever. More importantly a Festa won a field sprint. Maybe she can show me how to do it.

I once again had the intention of doing the 3/4 race and the p/1/2/3 race. The curse of being a cat 3 means you can ‘double up’ and race more than once. Joy.

The 3/4 went pretty well. As far as crits go it was hard. The 20mph winds made things difficult for everyone. An early break included my teammate Dan, but disintegrated when 2 guys on the same team attacked the break and when up the road on their own. With 7 or so laps remaining we finally caught them. A series of counters went off, one of mine included but nothing stuck.

Field Sprint time. The wind made it tough to keep position. With 2 to go I was swamped and slipped back a bit. I saw Wes trying to find his way up front, I surged up to grab him. After the 3^rd frantic “WWWEEEEAAAAASSSSSS” He heard me and realized I would give him a ride to the front. I dropped him off and began my fall to the back. While sitting in trying to maintain some decent position the pack got sketchier and sketchier. I knew the crash was coming about 5 seconds before the bodies hit the deck. When you see bodies moving left and right at them same time, and then see something pointing backwards, it is typically not good.

I made it through clean despite having to weave through some bikes, people running with bikes, and rolling bodies.

Michael A Apiece Photo

I liken the p/1/2/3 as a boxing match. This is not my analogy but its the best description. From early on I got back row seats to watch the heavy hitters throw punches. Eventually I was gapped for the last time and lost contact after not so many laps. The next level is a tough one.

Throwing the Dice: Tour of the Battenkill Cat 3 Grey

2011-04-11T20:52:00.002-04:00

Philadelphia Ciclismo took a strong team of 6 to the 'kill in order to chase down that elusive victory in the most hyped up race all year. I love the race. Mainly I feel this way because I enjoy riding bicycles on uneven surfaces compounded by dirt and close proximity to 125 other equally minded dudes, but also because it’s just ridiculous. The entire town is basically shut down for the race. Battenkill consumes Cambridge, NY, I believe that is what I like most.

Unfortunately Ciclismo (and I) did not win the race. What I love/hate about Battenkill is that it is a bit of a crap shoot. The variables, (distance, equipment, dirt, pot holes, punctures, crashes, 125 other dudes, luck, or lack thereof) stack up to a long list of items you simply cannot control. Fortunately these things also allow for variability in the ultimate winner. The strongest guy doesn't always win a bike race.

The flow of the race also can break a riders chances. I believe thats what happened to me. For the second year in a row, my race felt impossibly hard on the climbs, yet relatively easy elsewhere. This is bad. I made the "selection" at the top of the harder climbs, but when the pace slowed, everyone we dropped would catch back on.

I was almost dropped on Meeting House Rd. Technically at this point, 45 miles in, we were ALL dropped as our race leader and eventual winner had a 4 minute advantage on us.

ksjphoto.com

The pace went ballistic on the long stretch of rollers. I struggled, badly, to keep it in line and tucked into the back of my group but I was for a few minutes, in danger of being dropped. I went pretty deep and hung on.

Cyclocross tangent: I think I learned how to ride a sand pit a little better. At a speed of "spun out" I hit the patch of white sand on MHR and fishtailed as bad as anyone else. Well maybe not as bad as this unlucky bunch.

At the end of the section once again we resumed the gentle pace into the the last hard climb of the day, Stage Road. I knew I needed to do something here. Coming to town with the full bunch in tact wasn't going to help.

A rider made a fantastic attack (from the left side of the road on a yellow line rule course) and went clear a mile before the climb. The attack was fantastic as attacking from the left gutter made it hard to cover th attack as nobody was allowed to ride on the wrong side of the road. I believe I called him an "assclown" and got a decent laugh from the bunch.

When we hit the base of the climb, I upped the pace a bit. It flushed out the strong guys and honestly, it hurt me a bit. I hung on and by the top I had made the final selection. 6 guys with 4 miles left to the line... for 2nd...

By the time we got to the bottom of the decent the rest of the group was lingering behind us. We formed a pretty functional paceline in hopes of holding them off. 3 times through the rotation, and the group of 25 was all back together... going slow. Really slow.

At 3k to go Mark Flis took his shot. He got a nice gap, and held it to 2k. At 2k I made a little jump to see if I could get any separation. I didn't

As soon as Mark was caught at right before 1k to go, I tried again. This time I got separation. My attack worked. I was clear. I was clear right until the first of two corners where the wall of riders swamped me. Blown, I filtered back through the bunch, helpless to the inevitably of the sprint about to occur.

I ended up 19th. Sad result for a race I wanted badly, but I am happier this year in 19th than last year in 7th, when I failed to play my strength. I threw the dice.

As always my family came out, including my Grandpa who gives more shit to wait staff and the general race population than you could imagine. Its hilarious. Lunch/DInner/ Whatever time it was when we ate, was amazing. The Cambridge Hotel serves Chicken and Waffles. What else needs to be said?

THE 2011 International Intergalactic Global Open Mountain Bike Team Relay Championship of the Universe Including the Anti-Matter One

2011-04-04T20:23:00.000-04:00

THE Relay. I like the farm. A lot. I will pursue any excuse to race there. Having said that I feel that 99.9 % of the racers at the relay had a good time. The format is set in a way so that any of the 58 teams entered had a chance at the win. I toed the line with 3 teammates from Philadelphia Ciclismo. The race begins with a Le Mans start (read: running really far to your bike). I was first in the rotation. When I asked how far the run was I was given the typical Perry County answer "bout-a-miiiile" One word.
The marathon ended up being 5 minutes. I fell down. I fell down in front of a lot of people. Running. In a skinsuit. I fell running. My coach had the microphone to the PA. I was publicly embarrassed 5 minutes into a 4 hour race. I fired my coach.

Craig handed me my bike and I took a second to come down from redline and recenter. I was in 5th and there was cash on the line for the fastest rider across the line on lap 1. By the top of the climb I made contact with the tail of the group. It was Mike Hebe, Wes Schempf, Bad Andy, and Zach Adams. I worked my way through and found the leader, Bad Andy's wheel. I made a pass in a power section and struggled to put a gap on him. He traded elbows through the tent area and somehow I held the lead. I put a few more efforts in and finally managed to get a somewhat safe gap. These guys were going fast.

I came through the line first, handed off to Jake who took off flying. My lap would stand all day and I took the fastest lap with a 13:20. I then Re-Hired my coach.Tangent: My Cannondale is fast. Very very fast. I love it.
Everything was business as usual until lap 4. Wes started his lap a few seconds in front of me and I used him as a carrot for a bit. By the flowy singletrack I had found his wheel, but struggled to stay with him through the trees. I was using my legs to keep contact as he just slipped through the woods effortlessly.
I made a pass before the sketch river trail. We rode in tandem the rest of the lap until Kuhn called out a preme. "A 4 pack of Guiness to Wes if he can come around Festa" Before I could say anything Wes offered to split the preme with me if I let him come around. Without hesitation I grabbed a fist full of brakes and waved him though, instantly becoming 2 beers richer.
Jake crushed his lap, just like the previous 3, and sent Greg, now riding my bike (somehow he conned me into letting him use it) Craig had changed off already and has drinking a beer eating a hot dog. We glanced at the clock together.
"UHHH Craig, do you think Greg can do a 18 min lap?"
"Why?"
"Because its 18 min left, and if he comes back you have to go back out for a lap"
"What was his best lap?"
"18:31"
pause.

Greg, aware of the situation crushed the last few minutes of his lap. He sprinted so hard into the finish he overcooked the last turn and washed out. He picked up the bike and ran through making sure to tag Craig, beating his best lap and finishing it off in 18:13. After the handoff he fell to the ground. We all ran over. Some congratulated him, some gave him a high five, I said " Cool man, but uh why the heck were you running with my bike? Whats wrong with it? Funniest/ most exciting part of the day if you ask me.

Photo: Kyle Miller

The best for last, Lauren got a call 3 days before the race from some friends. They had an open spot on their team and needed a rider. Having ridden my old Yeti, exactly once. She agreed to try it out. Some quick, ghetto bike fit and some practice in the park by our home Friday in the at times freezing rain, a couple crashes, some small victories later, and she was as ready as she was going to be. She got faster on each of her 3 completed laps and actually did pretty well. Most importantly each time she finished smiling. I'll leave you with an excerpt from her race report.

I was almost done with my lap when I had heard people cheering for me from the tents. I heard Mike's voice in the crowd as well. All of a sudden, there was a rider on my left in a turn. I was extremely startled because most of the time people announce themselves - especially when it's in a turn! It just so happens that it was my husband who was not cheering for me - he was trying to pass. Awesome, that could've ended badly!

Husband of the year. Philly Ciclismo got 6th overall.

Lost River Barn/ Raw Talent Ranch/ Ciclismo Training Camp

2011-03-29T21:43:00.002-04:00

For the second consecutive year Philadelphia Ciclismo headed south to the Raw Talent Ranch in Mathias, WV.
Jay and Audrey have created something special with this place. The barn is on top of a mountain, smack in the middle of some of the best riding you will ever experience. The barn is a really nice place to stay, I have paid way more for way less in some motels throughout my life as a bike racer.

Photo: Jay Moglia

Friday's ride was the warm up. After a 4.5 hour car trip we headed out to test the legs and stretch out. 40 miles later and with already 3000 ft of climbing in our legs, the only thing between us and the barn was ~3 mile stretch of dirt road with pitches of upwards of 20%. 45 rpm of brutal. Remain seated or else your wheel slips out and you fall over. These efforts simply cannot be replicated at home. It would be like climbing the Manayunk Wall 10 times after covering it in dirt. Actually can we make that a dirt road, that would be insane. I digress. A half hour and 1500ft of vertical later day 1 was complete.

Day 2: Last year we did this great loop that included a 25 min dirt climb up to an apple orchard lunch stop. It was amazing and the climb was my style. I was sad to hear we would be trying out a different loop this year, but I was told I would not be disappointed.

Photo: Matt Harris.

After fueling up on several nuetella croissants and loading the team vehicle we set out, down the 6.5 mile decent that leas to the valley roads. The descent is a bit of a mind game because you must climb it on the way home.
This ride ended up being one of the best training rides I have ever done. The legs cooperated all day, almost as a thank you for the countless trainer sessions and sub 25 degree rides they endured most of the winter.

The real reason the ride was amazing was the route itself. There was a bit of everything on the ride. Dirt, steep ~~really scary~~ descents, valley roads all in sunny weather. But then 45 miles in it happened. Smoke Hole Road. Arguably the best road I have even ridden on, yea even better than the Blue Ridge Parkway. The road snakes along the river there and in encased in two rocky cliffs. At the other end of the canyon begins the relatively modest climb, up to the extremely fun descent off the mountain.

94 miles later and a 6.5 mile climb back up the mountain we were home. The climb back up to the barn is a tough one. The middle section is riddles with switchbacks each with there own way of tugging at you with their ridiculous pitch. We all made it up, one way or another and marveled in our accomplishments for the day. 6 hours. 94.5 miles, 9000 feet of climbing. Perfect team riding on the flats punctuated with playing on the climbs.

While dinner was in the oven, we decided to contribute to global warming a bit and burn some stuff. Luckily Jay had some stuff to burn, and by stuff I mean a very large pile of scrap wood. The most responsible person at camp threw fire crackers into the fire. True story.

We all knew Sunday had a chance of foul weather. We were all partially in denial until we woke up to 2 to 3 inches of snow. By 10am or so the road surface had come around a bit and there was actually some traction to be found, at least if you didn't try to drop down a 20 min decent. We stayed on the ridge and tried to at least get a few minutes in on the dirt roads on the ridge. Here is what happened: If you click anything on this blog, click this video.

No brakes, 2 gears, no big ring, as you can see its encrusted in ice/dirt. it was a lot of fun though. Not a perfect way to cap off the weekend, but a decent one none the less. For those of you wondering the only thing broken on the bike were the brake pads were completely shot post ride... amazing. My team Cannondale CAAD 10 was being built as we rode, so this was a nice send off to my Cervelo after 2 years of sterling service.

Ris Van Bethel

2011-03-18T08:10:00.001-04:00

This will be quick but chock full of totally PRO ~~excuses~~ reasons for why I didn't win. Some of the reasons may actually be partially true.

Bethel is a cool course to have a crit. It's a lot like Great Valley, home of the greatest crit in the world the mighty Liberty Criterium put on by my team, but the finish is on a hill.

Long story short here. Chris and I had a pretty decent plan laid out that played our strengths. Everything was going well until 5 guys rolled off the front. Unlike the previous 15 break attempts, this one actually stuck, until the base of the hill on the bell lap. I couldn't string it out like I wanted bu jumping, Chris left a bit two early, and we went from having some points on our upgrade cards to soft pedaling up the final sprint because we knew we had screwed it up.

Some early season reminders and observations for those I raced with in the 3/4.

1) Men should never wear 1/2 shorts when racing bicycles. Go buy some bibs, so we don't have to stare at your lower back/ ass. You have to be cold too...

2) When passing a rider, please do not hit his bars. Kind of obvious, but when coming around the rider at the front of the line, you should be able to complete this maneuver without hitting him.

3) For guys who have had snow on the ground until about 3 days before this race, you're moving pretty fast. What gives?

20 minutes later we lined up for the 1/2/3, I surfed for 41 laps and just tried to hang on. A group including a Kenda Pro Lapped the field and we were all racing for 8th. Chris ended up sprinting and took 14th overall. I coasted in, pleased with my workout for the day.

Navone

The Carolinas

2011-03-02T17:58:00.002-05:00

The Festa Family headed down south to do some spring training. I had some goals for the trip:
1: Climb mountains. Fast.
2: Eat grits with as many meals as possible
3: Practice descending skills.

Lauren had some goals as well. I will take my best guess as to what they were
1: Not Die.
2: Eat body weight in Honey Stinger Fruit Chews.
3: Not Die.

After riding the trainer in the snow and suffering miserably knowing a weeks worth of sunny days and high temperatures awaited, we loaded up the car to the gills and set off.
After a brief layover in Harrisonburg, Va to stop for the night at my sister in laws and enjoy grits with dinner 1/many, and a fried oreo (delightful) we headed further south to Asheville.

Words cannot describe the fried oreo.

Ashevegas is one of my favorite places. Lauren and I had our honeymoon there. The cost of living is low, the food is awesome, and the beers are stellar.

We arrived, and hopped on the bikes for a quick ride out through the Monopoly money mansions of Biltmore Village to the Blue Ridge Parkway. Nothing better.

After the ride we got to eat this: Fried Green Tomato Napoleon. For the main course I had shrimp and grits. After that I literally rolled my gluttonous ass back down the street to our hotel.

The next morning after breakfast (surprisingly no grits were consumed) we set off to Travelers Rest, SC. The hotel is at the base of Paris Mountain Goal number 1 was in likely to be completed in short order.

Lauren and I rolled into TR around noon and stopped to grab a coffee at a great local place. We pulled out of the shop and the first thing we saw was no other than George Hincapie out for a training ride! We must have sounded like little kids. I may have screamed.

The plan for Day 1's ride was to ride up Paris Mountain as many times as we could before dark. The total number ended up at 3. The best part of the climb were the easter eggs left written on the road from the road race.

There may or may not have been a shady drug deal going on 50 meters away from where this picture was taken.

Day 2, we took to the cars and headed back towards Asheville to tackle the BRP. Alex, the photographer of this shot may have been so cold he forgot to remove the ziploc bag from the camera! The decent off the mountain was the coldest I have been in some time. I was way underdressed and payed dearly.

Day 3:

Caesar's Head may be my new favorite climb. Paris Mountain's decent may win, but the effort up CH was a blast.

Day 3 ended with a sunset ride down Paris Mountain to the hotel. A perfect way to spend 6 hours on a bike and nearly an entire day outside. The views down the mountain were supreme, railing corners while the sun took a break for the night.

Day 4, the final day included a dirt climb up to Caesar's Head and the promise of near 80 degree temps. I spent a lot of the day bouncing back between groups, either bridging up to or riding back to riders. There was a little miscue when I was to drop back and wait for a rider then pull back up to the group on the dirt sector. 30 minutes of riding at FTP later, and all was right in the world when the misdirected became redirected. Positive side was I got to fly down (up really) a dirt road at warp speed. Lauren got to rip up some dirt too, and although I was unable to witness it, was flying.

We had a great time in SC, tackled almost 20,000 ft of climbing and over 17 hours in the saddle in 4 days. I think all of the aforementioned goals were met as well. I still could use some more grits though.

Here is Episode 1, season 1 of "The Paris Mountain Show"

Winter Training

2011-02-01T10:24:00.002-05:00

This winter has had a nasty cadence. Perhaps this is Mother Nature's way of evening the score for all of the beyond gorgeous days we were gifted during cyclocross season. Then, we were graced with mid week rain that morphed race courses to super highways laced with ample amounts of speed and grip.

Conversely, snow, or worse ice mid week for the last few weeks has not helped out the cause for weekend outdoor riding. Forced to take to the trainer or rollers takes a mental toll when done five times or more weekly all while listening to the weather man take his best sensationalized guess at what to expect. Will it be a "Pounding"? "Slammed"? I loathe these words. Perhaps some play on words with the word snow and a adjective for the end of the world?

We think of this:

While we stare at this:

Or better, while we brave this:

Laying down the foundation through miles and hours of silence, the relentless tug of base miles at our legs. Constant and unwavering we push through winter's hold on the mid atlantic, for we know, a mere 6 weeks from now we will be toeing starting lines at the early season races. What seems like an eternity will be here before we know it.

Help out Gearing Up!

2011-01-24T13:23:00.002-05:00

Gearing Up is a really cool NPO that is designed to help out women troubled by all sorts of obstacles. The org was founded by cyclocross maven and all around good person, Kristen Gavin.
Their mission is as follows: "Gearing Up is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide women in transition from drug and alcohol addiction, domestic violence, and/or homelessness with the skills, equipment, and guidance to safely ride a bicycle for exercise, transportation, and personal growth."
Gearing Up is hosting a fund raiser by offering indoor cycling classes at several Philly area Gyms. You don't need to be a cyclist to do these. You don't even need a bike, as you will be aboard the spin bikes at each gym location. Please consider helping out and helping a great organization raise some funds to help some deserving people!

Rumor is Lauren "Pez Cycling" Festa will be signing autographs at the Club La Maison location...

You can reg over at bikereg.com

Mice and Men.

2011-01-18T21:28:00.001-05:00

I should preface this with the fact that I do not read a lot of books. I did read this one though, in 8th grade. There was some stuff about living off the fat of the land, and foreshadowing when a old dog gets put down. Most importantly there is a part about good plans going awry.
Monday we had a 5 hour team ride planned. It was 25 degrees and overcast. There was a Pagoda involved.

Early on a teammate was having some difficulties, most likely from a "brick" of mtb at the wiss in the snow, and a couple hours of indoor soccer at night. I dropped back on a climb to help him out. Riding beside him on the climb my foot suddenly popped off the pedal. A bit confused my speedplay pedal had pulled off the base plate. I had figured the screws were toast. Well after looking at it some more the base plate had jettisoned its bolts that hold the cleat in place. Problem.
We stopped at the Pagoda while I called every bike shop in a 10 mile radius. The 2 that were open didn't carry speedplay. Pretty sure one of them was amish. Steph tried to get me to HTFU and press on... I rode for another 60 minutes with 1.5 legs. I basically had to forget how to pedal properly and only use my right leg to push down. Momentary lapses in concentration yielded much cursing. At the food stop my teammate who was suffering all day decided it was time to head back. I volunteered to take him home. For the next hour I plodded along, Craig in tow, slipping my pedal, hoping my craptacular sense of direction would get us back to Pottstown.
We were both miserable and it hit me. Craig was having a really off day. I had 1.5 legs. We still managed to ride 3.5 hours.
Lets just say the beer at Wegmans on the drive home never tasted so good.

Note the missing threads on the left...

2011 Team News

2011-01-12T19:04:00.000-05:00

Lots of team news around here.

Philadelphia Ciclismo has some great things planned for 2011. Staying with us are the one and only Cadence Cycling & Multisport. Cadence has been a great service course for us since the teams inception 6 years ago. The retail staff, coaches, and mechanics are always there to help us out when we are in need... and we need often.

New for this season we will have Cannondale and SRAM supplying us with bikes and parts. The road team will be aboard shiny new CAAD 10 framesets. As the frames and bits start to trickle in you'll hear more about this, but we are super excited in the mean time. New kits coming soon too... Bananas.

On the mountain bike side of things, I have a new team. I am riding for the Trans-Sylvania Team for 2011. This is a new team with a goal of promoting the Trans-Sylvania Epic MTB stage race and the Outdoor Experience Organization. For me its a great opportunity to work a little more with my coach, Mike Kuhn, his counterpart Ray Adams, and put in some work to improve an already great race. So far Cannondale and Notubes.com have come through with sponsorship for the team. Once again I am super excited to be a part of this project.

Lauren also has a new team for 2011. She will be riding for Cannondale/Cadence Womens Racing. 4 years ago Lauren had never really ridden a bike... now after having raced a full season of CX, podiumed a criterium, and countless throw downs on training rides and the area training races, she's a member of a very legit women's race squad. Not a club, not a charity ride squad, a freaking full blown race team. I am so proud.

Festive 500

2010-12-29T09:13:00.010-05:00

Due to my overwhelming abundance of free time on my hands these days, I have decided to take part in the Rapha Festive 500. This post will document my attempt. We will start in Ebony, VA where My wife and I were visiting her family for Christmas. Totals: 392.59 km / 243.96 miles End Result. Fell a little short due to the snow and travel. Still got in some great rides though!

Ride 1: Solo base miles.

Weather: 37 to 45 degrees F. Mostly cloudy, light wind.

91.47 miles/ 147.2 km in 5:14:07 ~2000ft climbing.

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/26307370"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;A ride mapped on 12/23/2010&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=Bracey, VA"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in Bracey, VA&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;
Ride 2: Recovery paced ride with wife
Weather: 40 to 45 degrees, 20mph winds. Sunny
30.52 miles / 49.11 km. 800 ft climbing.

Ride 3: Xmas Ride with LaurenWeather: 30 to 35 degrees, 5 mph winds. Cloudy

18.19 miles / 29.27 km.

After Ride 3, things went a bit haywire...

Ride 4: Trying not to crash in the snow and poorly plowed road. 23mm tires stick to ice better than you would think.

Weather: 25 to 30 degrees, 20mph winds. Sunny

25.61 miles / 41.12 km. 400 ft climbing.

Ride 5: Solo Base Miles: Back in PA.

Weather: 35 to 40 degrees, 5 mph winds. Sunny

47.16 miles / 74.03 km. 2000 ft climbing

Xmas Cross at Belmont and Bilenky Junkyard Cross. The Definition of Bananas.

2010-12-20T16:49:00.000-05:00

My proper cyclocross season has been over for some time now. This does not mean however that my cx bike is in hibernation for the winter.
According to my sister, Emily,this weekend can be most accurately described as "The definition of BANANAS"
For those of you that talk to me on GChat. You know I have been quick to call a few things (fried turkey, shotguns, strippers, dirt roads, watermelon, etc.) Bananas over the last few weeks... but this weekend, was truly it.
First there was a little "race" in the Belmont. (It couldn't really be called a race due to the city of brotherly love demanding an exorbitant deposit to use a park mostly inhabited by car thieves, hookers, and drug dealers). Anyways. There were numbers, there were bicycles, there was course tape. It was a race.
We built a jump made of rusted out metal sheets. We set things on fire. Greg ate a cheeseburger during his race. It was fantastic.
I had no legs. After one lap I resorted to drinking stout for the duration of my time in the woods. Captain Lawrence Espresso Stout makes great bike fuel. Gerry beat me. Dan Action beat me. Chab beat me. It was ok. Crossresults.com was not recording results, my points are safe.
Greg managed to crash riding up hill with a growler of Captain Lawrence Double IPA in his hand. The growler exploded upon connection with the ground... and Greg didn't get up for a few minutes, which worked out well because I was able to take his phone and get a picture.

Lauren faired a little better. She overcame a pre race anxiety attack, (Lauren doesn't like rocks and logs) to take 2nd place in the womens race.

Photo: Ann 'Rock

Bilenky. A frame builder that shares some space with a junkyard. In the hood. Ok. Perfect spot for a bike race.
Once again there were numbers, there was beer, there was course tape. Officially enough to call it cyclocross. I think the UCI would have taken issue with the glass everywhere, the really scary flyover, the !@#$ING teeter totter, oil slicks and cars lining the course but forget them.
Lauren once again manned up and raced despite forgetting the last time she actually had a tetanus shot. She seemed to be smiling a lot... probably because she knew we had beer in the car.

Photo Jeff Appeltan

Greg took 2nd in the B race, which is phenomenal because he doesn't train. At all. That and he gets mechanicals all the time, and while riding on broken glass, some may say you are more likely to flat out.

Photo Jeff Appeltan

I toed the line in the A race and managed to take 4th. More impressively I didn't die despite many close calls with gravel, trucks, sliding dismounts, and course steaks and Gerry "Ice Cream" Adasavage.

Photo: Jeff Appelton

Dan Action going a little too RAD. Photo Jeff Appelton

I avoided the teeter, instead electing to tokyo drift around the cut through and nearly take out some spectators. Sorry for being too EXTREME.

Check out this video from cxhairs.com

Bilenky Junkyard Cyclocross 2010 from In The Crosshairs on Vimeo.

Off The Season

2010-12-08T17:55:00.001-05:00

While not training for cx anymore I have still been pretty busy. Some quick notes regarding some good rides, and some cool stuff coming up on the calendar.

I emailed friend and new teammate Shane, co-purveyor of Laplander Bags regarding a new cycling wallet to carry some of the stuff (blackberry, house key, debit card, etc) I generally take along with me on rides. He came back with this insanely cool wallet. It has the Philadelphia Ciclismo logo on it... awesome. Check out Laplander's selection of other cool stuff with the link above.

While not training for cx I have shifted the focus to having fun for a month or so. While that still means riding bikes, it means not doing structured ohgodimgoingtopuke intervals. It does however mean group rides, long endurance pace, and mandatory coffee stops mid ride. I got to do 4 hours of Lehigh and Sals with the Trans-Sylvania crew this week, as well as some nice rides with PC.
One of those rides was for WMMR's Camp out for hunger. Some of the team met up at Cadence with bags of canned food and rode it out to Plymouth Meeting to the event to make the donation.

Also while not training for cx... I am planning to "race" here at Xmas Cross. Its the day before BBW Cx. Show up. Have some fun "not racing" but tearing around the woods with some good peoples. See you out there.

MAC Whitmore's Super Cup in Strong Island. Day 1 & 2

2010-11-22T20:35:00.003-05:00

Day 1:
When I last wrote about ~~Southampton~~ Nassau County being the venue of the final two MAC races I was super bummed. I won't rehash my thoughts on the matter, but the short end of it equated to me being off in my analysis. The MAC series could have been held in a corn field in Nebraska and I think we still would have had fun.
Although no corn was present, the landscape of the course at LI was flat. You expect that from Long Island so it really wasn't a shock, but it does make for a very roadie like race with drafting and tactics. There was one really different staircase that we will get to later.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/claytex/sets/72157625438235220/

Day 1 setup much like Beacon and Nittany set up. A group of 5 to 10 of us settled in and started taking turns drilling it. I had great legs and was sitting in a lot doing my best Craig Lebair impression, in honor of his visit to the race (Craig is currently on IR with a broken collar bone) To imitate Craig I was sucking as much wheel as I could. He's better at it than I am though, must be the lower center of gravity. I had almost totally blown up once following Donny's attack on the stairs at 3:40. There is a great video of him going all Sonic the Hedgehog on it.

We went back and forth until the last lap and thats when I tried to escape. The laps were stupidly fast, I knew I could throw down for the duration. I launched the first time right after the start finish road and got a small gap on Steve. He would pull it back a little and I would surge again. This continued for 5 minutes: Launch, Die a small death, Look over shoulder, See orange leaders jersey chasing hard.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/claytex/sets/72157625438235220/

Inside of my head my inner monologue sounded like this: "I'm going to win, I'm going to win, ouch, !@#$ he's still there, GO, I am going to win, OUCH, I am going to win, !@#$ still there..."
The last minute of the race was a long straight off camber into the barriers, turning back up to the road for the final 100m sprint to the line. I knew the remount and setup for the barriers would be crucial so I took an extra second to setup, thinking Steve would not try to pass on the off camber. Well he did. I knew instantly I had screwed myself. My HR at this point was 194 so I guess I wasn't thinking clearly. We got over the barriers and remounted. I needed a bike length in 100m to win. In the longest 100m sprint ever, I got all but about a foot or so back. Steve got the win at the line.

Photo Credit: Marco Quezada

Giving credit where it's due, it was a sweet move he made on the off camber, I could have blocked it or just put a little more pressure on him there, but I obviously didn't. As previously stated thinking at max HR is difficult. Ouch. With his win Steve pretty much wrapped up the MAC overall, while I cemented 2nd place for the series.
Lauren raced before my race and did great. She was slaying some of the off cambers and really riding well. I think she was heckled quite a bit for smiling too much though. Nemeisiesisis were slayed, no crashes, no bad luck... just a lot of fun. She did really well on day 2... the changes in her racing across the season are so fun to watch. She progressed from just riding, being really cautious and not implementing too much strategy to attacking, bridging, improving cornering technique, and learning pacing, as well as crashing, blowing up, and bleeding. All fun.
After the race we drank recovery drinks, the real kind and the beer kind, scavenged for food. Most of the foraging was due to the fact that the law came in and busted up the waffle truck's party due to lack of permits. LAME. I would have given an appendage for a waffle at that point in time, especially since I had sampled them at last years SH race and they were delicious. After we got done heckling people and recovering we retreated back to the hotel and setup for dinner. Somehow we managed to get a table for 18 at The Cheesecake Factory. More impressive is that we walked there (an entire MILE through big lot store hell) and did not die, or lose anyone. Diner was great, as true bicycle racers with minor body issues, we spent most of the time marveling over the calorie counts (2730 for a shrimp and pasta dish and 1000 to 1800 for a single slice of cheesecake!)
After we got back to the hotel we decided to make use of the pool... to uh, recover. None of us had bathing suits though so we elected to swim in skin suits and bib shorts. No there are no pictures. We burned the cameras.

Day 2

The course setup was same deal, but backwards. Amazingly it was much more technical backwards and a lot more fun. I was really sore warming up. I recovered fine despite the activities the night before, I just went really deep on day 1. There were also some pretty fast dudes lining up that didnt race (at least at Whitmore) on day 1. Those are my only excuses. The rest was on me. Thomas Mackay smoked it off the start and strung it out "Like Lindsay Lohan" as our awesome announcer Joe would say. I was in the lead group and then I got tired. Pretty much that's what happened. Steve, Donny, Fred, and a Rockstar Games guy got away from me. I felt like I was moving pretty well but the barriers and remounts were killing me. The course was so fast and fun though I didn't care. I was having a freakin' blast. Ok so I cared because it hurt, a lot, but it was still strangely enjoyable.

On a side note. Everyone knows I carry my bike kind of... well different when I run with it. I don't know how it got to be this way, but I just cant comfortably shoulder it. Somebody likened my technique to that of a javelin thrower, and while hilarious, its accurate.

On the last lap I had maybe 4 people on my wheel ready to fly around me and murder me. I attacked, trying to bridge up to Tom, but all I really did was nearly get pipped by Mark Flis at the line. Yikes, close race.

After he race the only food available was redbull and beer, so we made unintentional Four Loko, and heckled anything still pedaling. The group of people I raced with this year really made the year. Trading elbows, chops, surges, slides, and dirt with each other twice a weekend for a few months never got old and always proved to be a little different every weekend. I beat Donny, Steve, Fred, Gerry, Tom, at least once, and they all beat me, at least once (in many cases way more than once). Add in the wild cards, Mark, Brendan, my own teammates, random dudes, and the races were always a big guess at who would walk away the victor. My point is the racing was always fun, and really really difficult.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/claytex/sets/72157625438235220/
Greg on his way to a top 25 finish.

AND THE WINNER IS!!!!

2010-11-10T17:51:00.001-05:00

If you top 5'ed in any catergory at the Spring Mount CX race you were entered to win a sweet CAAD 10 from Cannondale and Cadence! Yes, the same bike the Philadelphia Ciclismo road team will be ~~crashing, chopping wheels,~~ looking awesome on in 2011.

You can find out who won the super sweet Cannondale CAAD 10 Frameset generously provided by Cannondale and Cadence Cycling....

Here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p84ieq71xmQ

Spring Mount CX (Crossasaurus Awesome)

2010-11-08T20:28:00.002-05:00

Once a year the Crossasaurus Awesome comes out of extinction (yes thats possible) and stomps onto the grounds of Upper Salford Park in Schwenksville, PA to serve up the only thing the Crossasaurus was born to do. Fun. If you were there, you know all about it, but if you missed out... we'll break it down for you in this post.

This was my first time really promoting a race. I helped out at Liberty Crit but this was 10x more to do than the crit. It was all worth it though, it was as fun to help out as it was to ~~race~~ flounder around the course.

There was SAND! Here is Dan Lavelle riding the upside of the pit.

There were destroyed bicycles! Here is Greg Camia's g'ed up ride.

There was SABOTAGE! Here is Craig Lebair doing what he does best. Dirt Naps.

There were prizes (Captain Lawrence Beer, Liquor Gift Baskets, Swag from Cadence, Kale.)

Photo Stephan Kincaid

More Teammate Sabotage. Here is an attempt to likely kill Craig.

There were PUFFY COATS. And KALE! Greg and Michelle modeling each. Greg also likes this song.

The racing was good. Turn out was huge, Bells and Bones canvassed the park. Lauren rode to a 10th place finish in the Womens open race. She was riding a bit out of her normal abilities for the first half of the race before being forced to settle in. I was really impressed how stong and smooth she looked.

Photo Chris Stine

Clearly shes learning from all of the little errors and correcting them as the season winds through. Her performance is even more impressive since she was helping serve food all morning prior to her race!

Photo Stephan Kincaid

I don't know what is happening in this picture. All I know was that for 24 hours I had the creepiest facial hair ever.

Photo Stephan Kincaid

The Mens Elite race was really two races, THE RACE... meaning Minturn, Yozell, Dewald, Adams, Dan... and then the other race. My teammates, Gerry, Steven, anyone who helped out.

Photo Stephan Kincaid

The gun went off and I settled in with Steve chasing Willhem. Everything was good for 30 minutes. We were crusing around enjoying getting heckled. I followed my definition of insanity rule and tried to ride the sand even though I only made it 2 out of 230 times. Around 30 minutes into the hour race Steve and Willhem got a gap on me. I tried to ride smooth and keep it constant.
At 40 minutes I knew something was wrong. I started to feel like I was going to bonk. I went into deny it at first but by 45 minutes I was shutting down. My HR dropped 40 beats. I couldnt surge, and I just tried to keep from imploding. I knew I was going slower but I had a good gap back to Matt Harris entering the field. By the pit Matt had caught me. This was actually good news, because it was a teammate and he came baring news that Minturn was on his way to lapping me, this ending my race a lap short. I literally had to walk the barriers as John went though. What happened? I ate breakfast at 6:30 am. I maybe consumed 300 calories from that point onward. By the time we raced at 2:30pm I was lining up for trouble. Take a look at the file below.

After inhaling by my estimates a pound of pasta salad, I felt somewhat human again. Just in time to risk life and limb tearing down the course! Its a good day when MAC rivals and Crossresults.com nemisisiesisis can work together. One step closer to world peace.

Photo Stephan Kincaid

Thank you to all that came out and raced/heckled/imbibed/ate/froze your asses off. We hope you'll return for next years return of the Crossasaurus. Thank you to all of our great sponsors, my teammates, and friends.

MAC HPCX Cyclocross

2010-11-03T21:31:00.000-04:00

Cycling has an ebb and a flow. I was hoping I could stay on the high side of the wave one more day. Lauren was hoping to get back on the sunny side after two consecutive weeks of tough Saturday races.
Early on Lauren was killing it even with a sore knee from yesterdays crash. The course had a lot of corners where if you weren't careful, you could overshoot them or worse put yourself on the ground. Early on Lauren solidified a spot in the top 20, chasing a good set of riders right in front of her. I had been breaking my strict "no trainer on the weekend" policy to warmup under the tent with teammates watching the race. All of a sudden Lauren had slipped back a bit. She yelled that she needed a pit "Rear wheel" was all I heard... instantly hopped off the trainer and pulled my best gazelle move over some picnic tables much to the enjoyment of my teammates still warming up. I met up with Laur in the pit a for a quick fix.
I got the new wheel in but the chain kept going into the spokes. Lauren told me she had crashed into a tree and her bike was making a "horrible noise" I probed a bit more and struggled with the rear brake on her bike. Time was pouring away. Arriving at the realization Lauren did not have a flat like I thought, I went back to her normal wheel. The rear derailuer hanger ended up being bent in a bit and the noise was her cage hitting the spokes when she was in her big gear. I bent it back out... a 5 second fix ended up taking minutes. Lauren now in tears... I'm all pissed off... blah. I looked at her and said "What do you want to do?" Others in the pit encouraged her to keep racing, which I was very appreciative of. I gave her a hug and sent her on her way. She finished... 20 spots back from where she had the ability to finish... but she gained more experience which although less impressive short term will pay off long term.

My race... went bad in the first 15 seconds. I got a great jump off the line and sat down after my initial burst. Something happened and 10 people went by me before I hit the the holeshot. All of my rivals were several spots in front of me. Uh oh. Charlie from Rutgers team and I exchanged elbows in more the a few corners fighting to move up in the group. I worked hard on lap one and by the barriers on lap two I was third wheel behind Steven and Tom.

Photo: Dennis Smith

Then I crashed. Suddenly. Total Dirt Nap. Entering a sweeping high speed left turn before the barriers I was braking a little more than I should have been. The front wheel shuttered under the load and washed out violently. I was instantly ejected. My glasses flew off my face as my head, shoulder, hip and knee dug in. I am not sure who was immediately behind me at the time but thank you for not running me or any of my belongings I left spread out on the course.
I popped up, picked up my yard sale (nobody bought anything) and made some repairs to my shifters which were all pushed in on the run over the barriers. Hurting and back 10 spots I sat in for a minute trying not to panic as the race pulled away. Harris and Craig were close by as I started to ride back to the front.
Somewhere before 3 laps to go the pain and efforts added up. I started backsliding as racers, mostly ones absent from Beacon, started flying by. I linked up with Gerry, who had not had his ice cream. It was funny. Cameron Dodge from Scott blew by me, and I couldn't even think of responding, but when Gerry would get close to overtaking me I would throw whatever I had at him. I suppose being Crossresults.com nemesis will do that.
Fast forwarding through me fighting with my cuts, Gerry, and my pulsing brakes for 2 more laps, I was in 7th. Gerry was the only one who could pass me at this point. Sadly there was a group of Ordons, Brown, Dodge, and 2 others 20 seconds ahead that I just didn't have the legs to bridge on to. Gerry and I traded efforts all the way until the last climb. Thankfully I got the edge and was able to keep him behind me.
Tough race. Course was great. It should have been a place for me to excel with the climbing and difficult corners, but such was not the case.

A little rant now. Afterwards we headed to my teammate Art Gorka's house. Being Halloween, trick or treaters showed up. Gorka with the expectation he had too much candy started giving each of the 7 yr olds like 10 Reese's peanut butter cups each, right until one little girl said "I don't like Reese's. What else do you have?" I'll tell you what else I have you spoiled little brat... What the hell is wrong with children? Even if you have no taste in candy, i.e. don't like Reese's, that stuff is like gold. You can trade a Reese's for anything. Rude and stupid, the killer combination.

MAC Beacon Cyclocross

2010-11-01T12:44:00.005-04:00

MAC # 7 took us back to the sandy fields of southern Jersey for one of the fastest cyclocross courses I have ever raced.
Starting with Lauren's race... Lauren has had some bad luck learning how to race this season. To paraphrase my teammate Stephan, shes putting all of these little bits and pieces of information (mostly bad luck type errors) into her Rolodex for later. I think its the case as she is improving and showing a lot of toughness when bad things happen (just wait for the MAC 8 HPCX post). Lauren has an issue with her gears off the start, but recovered. She moved up steadily and although several Lauren Festa Signature pouty faces were issued on the "Amphitheater of Pain" she was racing pretty strong.

Then while following another girl through a sandy corner, Lauren was unable to avoid the other rider while she washed out in a corner and went down. Laur crashed pretty bad into the fallen rider and gashed he knee open. She popped up and pressed on, but the pain slowed her down a bit.

The results may not be where she wants them yet, but the determination and even the speed/skills are there. It will eventually line up. At least she's having fun in the process. Put your hands back on the bars rookie.

And then there was my race. To make things really ~~ridiculously hard~~ ~~insanely fast~~ interesting, the promotors offered a Festina watch preme for the first ride to reach the top of the Amphitheater of Pain. I had a great start and settled into 2nd right behind Gerry. Clearly Gerry had his ice cream that morning because he was flying. I worked hard to hold his wheel knowing that I couldn't let him get too big a gap, and that if I kept it close I might be able to steal the preme from him. As we hit the sand I realized that idea was not going to happen. I got gapped running through the beach, (I prefer to take long walks, not 50 yd sprints). Gerry knew he had the separation and held the gap to the top of the AoP to take the watch.

Photo Credit: Denis Smith

The next 20 minutes played out like a road race. We were averaging over 16 mph for an avg speed, which is nuts. The only place I was really having trouble was the beach, other than that I felt good as I sat in on the group of Steven, Fred, Gerry and one unattached rider that had bridged up from way back. There were attacks launched by various parties, but nothing really got away. Early on Steven and I escaped off the front for half a lap as Fred and another rider got Tangled up. It seemed like Tom from C3 brought it back. Mark Flis was in the mix as well. I threw down an attack on a section before a couple tight turns prior to the AoP but I never got more than a few seconds. Nobody was faltering and nobody was getting away.
Everything was together at the bell lap. I was sitting behind Gerry and Steven with some version of this in my head "How am I going to win, How am I going to win, ouchlegshurt, HowamIgoingtowin, HowamIgoingtowin." Fred made a great pass and come around me on the turn after a sandy uphill section. What made it a great pass was that I tried in vane not to let him by and protect my spot. My thoughts changed to "!@# !@#$ !@#$ this is bad too far back do something gogogo!" panic? maybe? Gerry made a move and took the front. I was 4th wheel heading down a long straight slightly downhill (tailwind?) section. I launched. It was a dumb place to go. I was far back, and it was the same spot I jumped earlier in the race. It was also right before the AoP. I got a gap.
The gamble had paid off, so far. I took some risks through the next few corners and made it to the steps with separation. I pinned it up the AoP. The announcer was going nuts. I had forgotten how close the finish was the steps but I knew I had 3 or 4 key corners to get through and just tried to break it up into pieces. I got through the last and sketchiest one and turned onto the pavement for th uphill sprint to the line. As I rounded the corner I expected to see four dudes right on my wheel, but surprisingly I still had 25 ft of gap. I sprinted, with my head partially on a swivel, just praying for the line.

Finally I felt safe and put it in celebration mode. I cannot believe still, two days later that the move worked.

Photo Credit: Denis Smith

The team did great. 4 guys made it into the top 15 despite some crashes, broken fingers and mechanicals. Next up MAC #8 at HPCX.

Photo: Matt Harris