Tuesday, April 9, 2013

THE Intergalactic MASS Relay Thinger with Mountain Bikes on Kuhn's In Law's Farm That Involves Logs and Is Awesome and Against All UCI Rules.

With a title like that, you don't even have to read any race reports you already know the deal! Funny part is my fake title is nearly as long as the actual name of the MASS relay, that by now nobody, Kuhn included really knows what the hell its called. 

Craig, Steve, and I were signed up for a 3 man team this year. We pre-rode the course together and quickly came to 2 conclusions.
1) It was fun. 
2) There absolutely nowhere to pass. 

About 20 minutes before the start we all changed the registration to the solo class and set out to ride 4 hours of the 2.8 mile log infested course... in a paceline... wearing skinsuits... with no tools... and like no food. #YOLO.
Things you never see: Craig taking a pull. aelandesphotography.com
This ended up being way, way more fun then we suspected. The "moment of regret" never really came. We rode around talking (at tempo) for 4 hours. Stopped every 4 laps or so... graciously accepted cookie handups from "Big Show". Heckled those who passed sketchy... that deserved its own section actually:

To all of you that passed a little kid, female racer, or hell group of 3 UCI license holders without announcing, leaving enough space, or worse, heckling an 11 year old girl... What the hell? Were you in a rush to get home to beat your dog or something? Did you think the Cannondale team had scouts there to sign you up if you went all Strava on that shit? Maybe you just hate your life and this is your outlet? I don't know, I do know one demographic over all overs made the most ridiculous errors of etiquette above any other. It wasn't a scientific study, but being out there for 15 laps, it was obvious. Old dudes, comon you are better than this... chill. /rant

Back to the fun stuff. Abe (aelandesphotography.com) was there taking pictures. My wife was busy learning all about gravity (maybe sometimes falling down), and the other Ciclismo team was turning some fine laps.

I give to you a comparison of myself... Steve... and finally, Craig.

Me leading a bit 
Aero Steve.
This is Craig. Notice he's still drafting. 
 The rest of the day was spent pulling very consistent laps (if you pull our rest stops out, our fastest lap and our slowest was only a 45 second difference. The only thing more persistent that our pace was our conversation. We never stopped annoying the living shit talking the entire day. 

Talking some.

Blue Steel
The start of the best section. Logs and bridges!

Sup Steve?

1 comment:

leoferus said...

Great post! I couldn't believe the ridiculous attitude by some riders toward the juniors, women, and novices. I too thought they were late to kick the dog or something. If that's how angry they race, well, why race? I had a blast at Marysville and I was very proud of those kids, they gave it their all and made my day.